Remember those awkward Sex Ed lessons? We do. Here is what we wish we’d learnt instead.
Orgasms are great, but aren’t the goal of sex. Sometimes, when we focus too hard on having an orgasm it creates too much pressure and can make sex more difficult. Sex can be pleasurable and satisfying, and still ‘counts’ as sex, even if no-one orgasms.
Movies and porn often make out sex to be all neat and clean but that’s not really true.
Semen, vaginal fluids, lube, saliva and sweat can go everywhere during sex. Some people might choose to put a towel down before having sex just in case. Noises are common too. Noises from penetration, or skin-to-skin contact and farting and queefing can happen during sex. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Sex education tends to focus on what happens when you have or want sex, which is great as it’s important to know about. But, it’s also okay to not want sex often, or even at all. Always ask for consent before and during any sexual activity, and respect other people’s boundaries if they don’t want it. Not wanting sex is just as normal as wanting it.
As long as you don’t harm yourself or others, there’s no right or wrong way to masturbate, and no correct amount of times to do it. Masturbate several times a day, once a month, or not at all. Whatever suits you.
Sure, that’s one way of doing it. But there’s also oral sex, hand jobs, fingering and anal sex to name just a few. The type of sex act you like might depend on your sexual orientation and your personal preference. As long as it’s consensual and safe, there’s no wrong way to have sex.
We probably all remember learning about condoms in sex ed. But how many of us were told that getting at STI test regularly is also important? And that there is nothing to be ashamed of? Getting an STI test every 6-12 months (or when you have unprotected sex or change partners) should be treated the same as going for a regular dental check up.
What’s something you wish you had learned in sex ed? Let us know on the forums. If you have any questions feel free to drop by the ask Nurse Nettie page or call 1800 451 624 between 9:00am and 5:30pm Monday to Friday to talk with a sexual health nurse. It’s confidential and free if you call from a landline.