@tea this is such an interesting question and I have nothing to offer but solidarity for the concern. When I had PV sex for the first time I was in the US and they have their condoms in the supermarket under LOCK AND KEY!! Treating sexual health care like a contraband product was very disturbing and I could not understand the thinking behind it. I…[Read more]
@sextronaut IT’S CALLED AUDIOPORN?? This has made my week!!
I am also so with you on wanting to turn the stimulus off once arousal has dissipated, and am totally FASCINATED that you have wanted to keep watching. I’m a little interested now…
Interesting that you say that @goldenrose, a friend of mine this week suggested that there tend to me less ‘serious candidates’ on the apps, because they really have lost popularity!
So what’s next? Where is everybody?
A weird thing has been happening lately… I have been getting far less matches on Tinder!! And I don’t think I have done anything differently. I’ve also noticed that even when you do match, people hardly ever begin a conversation anymore.
Has anyone else had this experience?
Are we all tired and over it? I know I am!
Do you think the apps are on…[Read more]
Ahhh @stephaniaaah thank you for all these great tips and sorry for my late late late reply!
I am so with you on the high-waisted leggings! I am sorry about your plover experience… I too learned the hard way when it came to pants falling down.
I was going well for about a month and then I got sick, so I just had my first day again today and…[Read more]
This conversation is so refreshing!! It’s very exciting to hear ethical porn discussed as something that everyone can enjoy, and not just the typical male gaze, exploitative phenomenon…
@tea I definitely understand what you’re saying, but it still somehow works on me! I have not watched a lot of porn, so I often feel like my body reacts…[Read more]
I’ve taken up running for pretty much the first time in my life. It’s free, it’s accessible and I am trying to associate breathlessness with exercise rather than anxiety.
Does anyone run?
What are your tips? Especially in relation to not feeling panicked and self-conscious any time you run past someone or god forbid…they look at you 😛
I love what you said about if you wouldn’t want to hang out with someone outside of sex, then you probably wouldn’t want to be having sex with them @kitkat, but I’m just wondering if this is always the case. Has anyone experienced great sex with someone they really could not stand in other contexts??
Hmmm I’m not sold either… I think on a grand scale it is probably for the best, but unlike @stephaniaaaah and @goldrenrose, I am finding myself less likely to post because the gratification of getting that social approval has lessened. Definitely important for self-awareness to recognise how I (and countless others) use the platform for approval…[Read more]
This is a tricky arena @curiousss. I have not lived with a partner, but I am living with a close friend, and it’s been hugely important for us to maintain a healthy relationship whilst growing a roommate relationship.
I think it is important to be kind to yourself and remember the adjustment may take time. You are actually entering into a whole…[Read more]
This topic really intrigues me! I listened to a great podcast that suggested the reason young people are having less sex (but also the rate of unwanted teenage pregnancies are waaayyyy lower than ever before) is because the availability of technology gives us those dopamine hits in the privacy of our own bedroom. Between porn and constant…[Read more]
Yes I think it is!! I am starting to realise that whist I surround myself in general with feminist and sex-positive people, when you meet someone outside of your circle, these values can really differ. Perhaps I just need to be a little more discerning 😉
Thanks @tea and @sextronaut – all great advice!
I am finding more and more however that the success of causal encounters is based on the premise that all people have the same understanding around boundaries, safe practices, consent and expectations. I wonder is this all comes down to running in circles that hold the same values to us?
@tea I hear you on the open-mindedness, but I suppose my curiosity is about how all these things factor in when we HAVEN’T yet built an understanding of another’s personality. Do you think we need to know about someone intimately, before we can enjoy good sex with them?
I am of the opinion, through my life experience, that it is far more common to have great sex in an ongoing and intimate relationship, that it is in something casual and sporadic. I would love to be wrong about this! If intimacy, trust and communication are not the only ingredients of great sex, what are the others? And please, how do you…[Read more]
How wonderful to everyone’s stories.
Another bi-sexual woman here who struggles with internalised homophobia and bi-erasure.
I really resonated with what you said @sextronaut about confidence levels when it comes to coming out. I have been dating in a heterosexual capacity lately, which has made me feel totally weird about my identity. I come…[Read more]
@tea I am so here for this advice! When I moved out of home I had this grand plan for waking up super early, morning yoga and herbal tea and reading…I think I’ve done it twice in five months. The cold really doesn’t help…
Yay! Fellow watchers @goldenrose @aunt_flo. I totally agree and felt pretty awkward myself because I definitely permitted Joe’s awful actions for far longer than was appropriate because of his ‘good qualities’.
I listened to a very interesting interview with the writers who made me think a lot about the way we are conditioned to always root for…[Read more]