I’ve taken up running for pretty much the first time in my life. It’s free, it’s accessible and I am trying to associate breathlessness with exercise rather than anxiety.
Does anyone run?
What are your tips? Especially in relation to not feeling panicked and self-conscious any time you run past someone or god forbid…they look at you 😛
I love what you said about if you wouldn’t want to hang out with someone outside of sex, then you probably wouldn’t want to be having sex with them @kitkat, but I’m just wondering if this is always the case. Has anyone experienced great sex with someone they really could not stand in other contexts??
Hmmm I’m not sold either… I think on a grand scale it is probably for the best, but unlike @stephaniaaaah and @goldrenrose, I am finding myself less likely to post because the gratification of getting that social approval has lessened. Definitely important for self-awareness to recognise how I (and countless others) use the platform for approval…[Read more]
This is a tricky arena @curiousss. I have not lived with a partner, but I am living with a close friend, and it’s been hugely important for us to maintain a healthy relationship whilst growing a roommate relationship.
I think it is important to be kind to yourself and remember the adjustment may take time. You are actually entering into a whole…[Read more]
This topic really intrigues me! I listened to a great podcast that suggested the reason young people are having less sex (but also the rate of unwanted teenage pregnancies are waaayyyy lower than ever before) is because the availability of technology gives us those dopamine hits in the privacy of our own bedroom. Between porn and constant…[Read more]
Yes I think it is!! I am starting to realise that whist I surround myself in general with feminist and sex-positive people, when you meet someone outside of your circle, these values can really differ. Perhaps I just need to be a little more discerning 😉
Thanks @tea and @sextronaut – all great advice!
I am finding more and more however that the success of causal encounters is based on the premise that all people have the same understanding around boundaries, safe practices, consent and expectations. I wonder is this all comes down to running in circles that hold the same values to us?
@tea I hear you on the open-mindedness, but I suppose my curiosity is about how all these things factor in when we HAVEN’T yet built an understanding of another’s personality. Do you think we need to know about someone intimately, before we can enjoy good sex with them?
I am of the opinion, through my life experience, that it is far more common to have great sex in an ongoing and intimate relationship, that it is in something casual and sporadic. I would love to be wrong about this! If intimacy, trust and communication are not the only ingredients of great sex, what are the others? And please, how do you…[Read more]
How wonderful to everyone’s stories.
Another bi-sexual woman here who struggles with internalised homophobia and bi-erasure.
I really resonated with what you said @sextronaut about confidence levels when it comes to coming out. I have been dating in a heterosexual capacity lately, which has made me feel totally weird about my identity. I come…[Read more]
@tea I am so here for this advice! When I moved out of home I had this grand plan for waking up super early, morning yoga and herbal tea and reading…I think I’ve done it twice in five months. The cold really doesn’t help…
Yay! Fellow watchers @goldenrose @aunt_flo. I totally agree and felt pretty awkward myself because I definitely permitted Joe’s awful actions for far longer than was appropriate because of his ‘good qualities’.
I listened to a very interesting interview with the writers who made me think a lot about the way we are conditioned to always root for…[Read more]
Totally agree with this @tea! I was taken by complete surprise last year, when someone I was about to have sex with explicitly asked me, ‘would you like to have sex?’. I thought it strange at first, but the total empowerment that flowed through me when I verbalised ‘YES!’ was very exciting. Would highly recommend!!
@catdog I’ve done this! And it was TOUGH! However, strangely enough I still felt like I was having a fulfilling sex life through skype sex. There is definitely risk attached to anything that goes through an online platform, and I don’t think I would be comfortable had I not been in a loving and trusting union. It was slow going at first, but once…[Read more]
This has been so interesting to read!! Thank you @tea for asking the question, and @will for answering so eloquently. I am drinking peppermint tea whilst reading this, which made me laugh.
This post has gotten me thinking about how scary it is when you have no idea about something sex-related and it isn’t always clear where to turn. Where was the…[Read more]
This whole chain is so relatable, my goodness! Go @tea!! I also found tampons terrifying until recently. I got my period at 11 and used pads for years and years, trying tampons intermittently- which always ended in tears. I felt like there was something very wrong with my body- of course I was always super tense…
Then I had penetrative sex and…[Read more]
yes yes yes! That group sounds awesome @sextronaut– thank you for sharing.
I too, identify as bisexual and yet I am constantly invalidating my own experience and telling myself I am not queer enough if my current lives experience does not match my label.
I guess it goes back to that great analogy of the fold out couch. Sometimes it’s a bed,…[Read more]