EarthMama

Just adding some yes, yes, yes to all of the above @stephaniaaaah @aunt_flo @goldenrose. I have come out to my family and friends, but because there is very little ‘evidence’ of my queerness in the form of my relationships, I feel like I have to come out again on an almost monthly basis.

Omg I want to jump on the making out train too!! What happened to good old neck kissing? And just being felt up? I believe this is why so many people found Twilight so titillating in its day, because it took us back to the penetrative-free basics!

I too have often wondered whether the best fit for my sexuality is the label of Pansexual. I relate to so much of what you have said @stephaniaaaah about not feeling queer enough if you are in a ‘straight’ relationship and worrying about how it is judged to even have a preference for a particular gender. I seem to have a gender preference in my…[Read more]

I too have often wondered whether the best fit for my sexuality is the label of Pansexual. I relate to so much of what you have said @stephaniaaaah about not feeling queer enough if you are in a ‘straight’ relationship and worrying about how it is judged to even have a preference for a particular gender. I seem to have a gender preference in my…[Read more]

That’s so interesting @aunt_flo, I suppose most things do come back to how we see ourselves. I am really glad for you that the experience came an opportunity for you to take stock of who you are in the absence of your sex drive. I think it is easy to forget how much emphasis we place on elements of our identity until we are left without them,…[Read more]

I totally relate with you @sextronaut. I think the 20’s can be an odd in-between time of life for group friendships, because most people are looking around, trying on new careers, moving to different places, some even settling into relationships and …babies?? I think it is so important to normalise the struggle and recognise that social media…[Read more]

How are you feeling now @goldenrose @aunt_flo ?? I was hoping I would feel ready by this stage, but after one afternoon of seeing my friends, I felt like I needed to sleep for three days…

Woo I am loving all these suggestions! I am very excited as I’ve just ordered a few books that have been highly recommended through the BLM movement. The one I am super excited for is a series of short stories compiled by an Australian woman named Anita Heiss. It is called ‘Growing up Aboriginal in Australia’.

*explicit

@champagnepapi super interesting to think about implicit consent and how risking it is to not obtain complicit consent. I think this highlights our cultural discomfort with verbalising and passionately expressing what we really want, as well as our reluctance to hear it from other people. It’s as if we would prefer to bumble through not knowing…[Read more]

@champagnepapi I totally hear you on this and it likely that you would have to get over these things. There is a great episode on ‘You Can’t Ask That’ (which is freely available online) that chats with people in non-monogamous relationships. I love the way a particular couple is super honest about how they’ve dealt with envy over the years but…[Read more]

It’s so validating to hear you both feel the same way @aunt_flo and @goldenrose! I learned just today that there is something known as ‘reintegration anxiety’ which pretty much explains alot of the feelings we are having about things going back to some sense of normality. It is also known as ‘reverse culture shock’ and can happen when we return…[Read more]

Yay I am so excited about this conversation @aunt_flo. I am deeply in love with Normal People right now and truly found the examples of consent throughout so sexy. I love how the moments taken for consent highlight the sensitivity of the individuals and their concern for one another. Suffice to say, I totally love it and I think it is clever the…[Read more]

It is great to hear your honest opinion and lived experience @aunt_flo. Do you ever worry what the lack of spark will mean for your relationship now or down the track. Obviously, this is a totally normal and expected experience, but I wonder how it feels for you in the midst of it and whether it makes you second guess anything?

@champagnepapi I…[Read more]

@champagnepapi am I being hopelessly romantic? I must admit I agree with you…even though my wildest dreams look a little different, until with have a viable replacement, I do think they are here to stay.

It will be so interesting to see what happens on the apps post covid. I deleted them well before we went into lockdown as I had just had quite enough and I’m glad I did. Like @stephaniaaaah I cannot stand the excitement of connecting with someone online and then it being a total letdown in person, and I felt as if the prolonged anticipation would…[Read more]

I have no super long term spark-dying relationship advice to bring from personal experience either…however, I listened to this great podcast recently that spoke about sex and love and how they are totally different experiences. The ‘sexpert’ suggested that in order to keep the spark alive in a long term union, we really must keep sex and love…[Read more]

Ahh so many myths! The one that worries me the most is the lack of education around the need for condoms during oral sex @aunt_flo. I feel as if the lack of education has created a culture where it is normalised to NOT use one, and therefore it feels like a huge barrier to break to expect a partner to use a condom during oral sex. I always feel…[Read more]