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  • #129251
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    Hey @rolldaniel

    Definitely agree with @champagnepapi here. Sexuality can often go through peaks and troughs and also people just go through peaks and troughs in terms of how good they are feeling. Perhaps just leave it a bit for now and work on enjoying each others company and building a relationship. Then when the time is right you can both have an open conversation about sex, wants and boundaries.

    Hope this helps!

    0
    #129250
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    Hey @rolldaniel

    Definitely agree with @champagnepapi here. Sexuality can often go through peaks and troughs and also people just go through peaks and troughs in terms of how good they are feeling. Perhaps just leave it a bit for now and work on enjoying each others company and building a relationship. Then when the time is right you can both have an open conversation about sex, wants and boundaries.

    Hope this helps!

    0
    #129249
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    @champagnepapi @yogigirl

    Hi everyone, thanks all so much for your ideas and thanks particularly @goldenrose for linking that other thread.


    @champagnepapi

    We ended up just not having sex because I didn’t want to do it without a condom! Unfortunately this happens sometimes but I honestly wasn’t even in the mood anymore because of it. It’s good to say no and set boundaries.

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    #129248
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    @tea @earthmama

    Omg this is such a struggle. In my past experience with one night stands as a gay man, you just have to be really insistent with them and tell them that you won’t have sex without a condom. I think also for a lot of guys sometimes normal condoms can be too tight or constricting, so bringing things like extra large condoms or durex thin condoms can make it a lot more enjoyable. I’ve definitely not been able to sleep with people because of this, but its better than getting an STI!

    But I think that many peoples experiences will be different.

    0
    #129247
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    1

    @saralovesh

    Oh my god, you’re me so many things to try out at sometime.

    Sex toys are such a good way to get your needs met!

    I’ve recently gotten myself a buttplug/vibrator with a ring attached to it which has been great for my partner and I.

    1
    #129159
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    1

    @yogigirl

    I feel like communication is not only important because it makes it easier for you to get pleasure, but also, many people are very turned on by their partner being turned on and experiencing pleasure. Then you’ll be having better sex and feeling better. So it’s a win win situation!

    1
    #129083
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    1

    @yogigirl

    I think a month into a relationship is a really good time. Thankfully, most STIs are highly treatable, so I think if you talk about having had an STI and you know the research behind it and can explain why its no longer a danger I think many partners would not mind.

    However I think it depends on the STI. If you had chlamydia and you no longer have it I don’t think most partners would mind as its an incredibly common STI and very easily treated. However, if you are about to become sexual and have HIV and are taking anti-retroviral drugs so that you can’t pass it on to others I think its important for their safety for you to tell them. They might want to go on prep or use condoms to have sex with you to feel more safe.

    What does everyone else think of this?

    1
    #129082
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    1

    Hi @yogigirl

    This is definitely the way to go! For 3 years I had casual dates with people time after time but either I was rejected or I didn’t click with them. I feel as though working on yourself can have nothing but a positive effect. My current partner that I’ve been with for 2 years I met after a spree of working on myself while also putting myself in situations (not necessarily dating events or anything like that) where you can meet new people. Best of luck to you!

    1
    #129081
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    @goldenrose

    I agree with @mickymee, you’re definitely not alone in this.

    I always used to have a super hard time reaching orgasm with sexual partners. However, I think its not the end of the world if you can’t come. There shouldn’t be any shame attached to it. Like, sometimes your just not in the mood to come or its not important.


    @stephaniaaaah

    These are some absolutely fantastic suggestions and I’ll have to try them out next time I have casual sex

    0
    #129080
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    @Mickymee

    I’m similar. With a past partner I really enjoyed doggy style. However, with my new partner it feels a bit like an insult as if he doesn’t want to see my face…

    Nowadays I much prefer missionary because we are in love and I love looking at his face and it feels fantastic.


    @tea

    I really do want to try some different positions as I get older or even just be more experimental in the bedroom!

    0
    #129079
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    1

    Just an update to this. For those of you that are eco-conscious there is a more eco-friendly alternative to condoms here:

    https://jonny.com.au/

    It’s vegan meaning that none of the products in it are derived from animals and its made of latex which degrades faster than plastic. This would be much better than catching an STI I think!

    1
    #129078
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    So funny hearing everyone’s stories!


    @liamw

    What a crook! That is a very funny story though, people are crazy…

    0
    #128613
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    @yogigirl you have to watch the snatch game from the UK one at least! Too funny. They do an excellent margaret thatcher impression


    @aunt_flo
    ooooo i loved the canadian one. Although I was sad when Jimbo left 🙁

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    #128611
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    Hi @curiousss not sure if this is super relevant anymore because were sort of stepping out of lockdown in NSW at least #prayfornothirdwave #wearamask #gettested. But…

    Something that my partner and I did that helped bring a little bit of spice to our relationship during COVID19 lockdown and isolation period was being a bit more experimental in the bedroom and exploring different kinks we’d thought about in the past. Although, usually we’d do this after sort of exercising and eating healthy regularly and when we had time, otherwise my sex drive just goes totally out of the window aha!


    @earthmama
    @sextronaut so sorry to hear about the things you’ve been through. Hope you’re doing better now!

    0
    #128610
    PotPlant
    Moderator
    0

    @jackh

    I’ve edged and been edged by different partners in the past. It can be quite fun with the right partner and as @forrestwalker said, can be quite an intense experience. However, not everyone enjoys it. It really depends on personal preference!

    0
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