hey @saisha, great question!
@purple is right about testing and contraception (if you need it).
I’ve used Skyn condoms a whole lot in the past and I’ve never had a problem. I particularly love them because they’re latex free so if I had a partner with a latex allergy or they were particularly sensitive to it, the ones I had on hand were never a…[Read more]
I think communication is definitely really important for something like this. I also really love the advice to see a sex therapist – they would be good to help bring the…[Read more]
@earthmama I like where you’re going with that, and I think it’s all about how you frame it to yourself.
My accidental dry spells have kinda ended up turning into something I’ve maintained by choice – I think once you break past societal/personal pressure @purple and @curiousss mentioned, you reach the point where you can really focus on what…[Read more]
@tea @purple I’m so here for this. The stigma around non-monogamy makes me so mad! I’m currently practicing monogamy with my partner, but recently when I said to a friend ‘oh I think this person’s (not my partner) hot’ they were like ‘but you have a boyfriend!!’ and got all defensive. My partner and I are very open about being attracted to other…[Read more]
Definitely no big deal taking a break from feeling the need to always be involved intimately with a partner, whether sexually with a partner or in a longer-term relationship.
Simply reconnecting with your own values (priorities, interests, friends etc) and pursuing your own short and mid-term goals can go a long way in helping you discover what…[Read more]
Good point @purple – so much of the conversation in the websites is about what other people will think, and very little about what the actual person with the labia thinks. I agree that repositioning the labia away from the sexual sphere is a good base for building up confidence in people who are considering surgery.
I’ve seen that website w…[Read more]
It’s really shocking that articles still use that kind of language surrounding our bodies! ‘Neat and tidy’ is definitely not how I would describe my labia. I have friends who kind of make derogatory comments sometimes and use labia as a precursor, so things like ‘fanny flaps’ will be used as an insult. Well, that’s me, I have a very not neat and…[Read more]
Hahah yeah definitely two different words there @purple omg
I love that this time alone has given you time for self-reflection! Do you find that since you’re not having sex with other people that you’ve been able to explore yourself more in a sexual sense? Like what you like or don’t like, how you connect with your body more?
I don’t remember…[Read more]
@purple did you have to sneak in and out of the window? hahah
@earthmama YAY TO TRYING NEW THINGS!!! Ahh, that’s so exciting! Hmm yeah true about the venting thing, I have a counsellor in my pocket at all times for this. Also, I’ve found keeping a diary to scream at instead of another human helps a lot, especially if I’m being super irrational.
So true about the sex @purple.
And yes, @tea! I feel like it’s harder to brave when living with family in many cases, because you have the choice to not be brave. I’ve noticed already that I am trying out new things and attending events, even taking more risks because I’ve realised it’s up to me to create the life I want. There are also less…[Read more]
I think it really depends on how someone defines cheating. Personally, I think feeling inadequate or threatened doesn’t count as cheating at all. However, it can definitely cause issues and communication is the key to interrogating thoughts.
I also think there’s a lot of variables! What if…[Read more]
@purple Thank you!!! Overcoming my fears one tampon at a time haha Yeah my girlfriend gave me the same advice about shoving one entire finger up there which to me, just seemed so deep? Even though that kind of thing goes in there all the time when I’m not bleeding hahah
@purple Yeah I really wish the negative stigma would go away too! I have an outbreak at the moment so I’ve popped a patch on, at it with the lysine tablets and took some famvir too! But since I have a blister at the moment I get a lot of ‘oh what’s that’ and I’ll be like ahh just a cold sore! Because, no big deal really, but then people get so…[Read more]
@curiousss I’m one of those people in a ~serious~ relationship and met on a dating app! Though, we met on Bumble not Tinder but same-same. We met on Bumble and we tried to meet up I think, three times but I kept flaking haha Luckily this girl decided to give me a go and we met at a street party for our first date! We’re a year into our…[Read more]
@purple it is the GREATEST! I was starting to feel quite trapped in my life and like I couldn’t really grow beyond the parameters my family had set for me. I think that there comes a time where you realise you have all the tools you need and it’s just about being brave.
My lovely mum actually drew a picture for me when I was really nervous, that…[Read more]
Well, if I’m honest, it’s still going on…
I’ve tried hard to assert firm boundaries and we’ve had a productive conversation around being clear about when we are actually able to see each other. It is certainly not the relationship I want, but I can’t help remaining interested and sticking it out a little longer. I know I’m being…[Read more]
Nope, I definitely think it’s not.
I tend to hide them from sexual partners, though. Not because I’m ashamed, but because i’ve gotten a mixed reception before – I definitely think they’ve felt threatened as well @purple!
Same deal with porn, or masturbating while thinking of someone else – it’s not cheating in my book, but nor is it always the…[Read more]
@purple I feel like moving out has provided me with SO much personal growth. You’re thrown into the deep end and the feelings of vulnerability and freedom are really what make it such a huge thing. It’s scary to start off with, but you just need to find your groove which would take about 3-6 months.
Two of my friends are in long-term relationships with guys they have met on tinder and they are both open about it and I find it completely normal. Similar to what @purple said, I find it’s not really stigmatised among most young people these days and I guess it depends on each individual and family whether or not they would be open to the idea.…[Read more]