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  • #124050
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    What an amazing experience, @earthmama! I always love reading good reviews, I feel like the internet is mostly just full of negative reviews so it’s SO helpful to read something positive like yours. Thanks for sharing!

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    #124049
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    The myth about size! This weekend I came back from grocery shopping and I decided to try and fit as many mandarins as I could in a condom. Turned out I needed more than what I had. I fit 15 mandarins, 10 potatoes, 2 onions, 5 tomatoes, 1 lemon and an avocado. I was so impressed by it’s stretch!

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    #124048
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    I’m in this boat too! All of your stories and advice has been so comforting to read. My partner is working from home for the moment and I’m still heading to work every day as usual. It’s a bit of a struggle, he hates being trapped at home (understandably!) and all of our friends have lost their jobs, so we’ve got a big pile of survivors guilt happening too. We’ve also kind of run out of things to talk about, anyone else experiencing this? I don’t think we realised how much we require other forms of entertainment/distraction to keep us going. The pandemic is just so all-consuming that we’ve struggled to talk about anything else.

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    #123716
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    Yeesss I love this cooking theme. I saw this youtube video the other day all about new years resolutions, and how it’s more achievable to set yearly themes rather than resolutions. Maybe all your themes will be food!

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    #123715
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    @earthmama Congratulations on taking such a big step!
    I’m in a very similar position – I’ve just moved and I had to leave my job as a part of my move. And now I’m in a new place and unemployed! I haven’t been unemployed for a very long time, and I’m totally in the waiting, wondering and panicking space.
    I’m trying to use this time to do the things I didn’t have time to do while I was working full time, but I’m very much the kind of person that works well with routine. Without one I lose all my motivation and focus!
    … I’ve also just downloaded Sims 4 and have spent hours on it already. Hahah.

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    #123714
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    Hey @tea! Thank you so much for sharing your story, I feel so grateful that you feel comfortable being open and honest in this space. While I’ve never experienced body dysphoria or re-thought my gender identity, I can imagine that it could be quite exhausting, and sometimes difficult. Good on you for getting through what you have endured already, and continuing the journey. I’m sure I speak for all of us on Play Safe that we’re here to support you with whatever you need.

    It sounds like you’re doing a fair bit of research, which is what I was going to suggest. While I feel like my assigned sex is harmonious with my gender identity, I experienced a re-evaluation of my identity when I realised my bisexuality. Research is what helped me the most, specifically personal accounts. Social media was fantastic, specifically youtube and facebook groups all about what it feels like to be bi. Hearing personal stories that were so, so similar to my own made me realise that 1. I wasn’t the only one experiencing those things and 2. not everyone in the world experiences those things, it’s a very specific experience.

    I think indulging in things that affirm your gender identity is the way to go. Spend more time with the people that make you feel safe and use your pronouns. You could change your look – get a haircut, groom your body hair differently, change up your style, etc. Pamper yourself in ways that make you feel good, like using specific scents of body products. Focus on the things that your body can do, rather than what it looks like, or focus on things that you love about your body.
    Most importantly – there’s nothing that you ‘should’ be doing or ‘need’ to do. Transition if it’s something you feel a drive to do. See a doctor about testosterone if it’s something you’d like to do.
    Have you checked out The Gender Centre? There’s a non-binary support group on the first Monday night of every month, and there’s one tonight! https://gendercentre.org.au/support-groups/non-binary

    Always here to chat if you need. <3

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    #123713
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    @tea oh it’s the worst! My spotting stopped after 3 months – if it continued any longer I was prepared to give up. I can’t believe you made it all the way through the 6 months!
    My vulva was so unhappy using period products every single day, particularly without my menstrual cup! I wasn’t bleeding enough for tampons to be worth it (cost + discomfort of a dry tampon, ugh) so I was using a combo of period undies/reusable liners/disposable liners so I was ALWAYS wearing underwear. I usually sleep without underwear/naked so I can let my bits breath, and not being able to do this just felt gross. I noticed a difference in the health of my vulva during that time, it sucked.

    But now, my IUD is pretty good! After the spotting stopped I didn’t get my period for about 3 months, and then I just had one out of the blue. But I freaking love not bleeding as regularly, it’s so great.
    The only thing is that the people who inserted it cut my strings way too short! I can barely feel them myself (some days I can’t at all) and the doctor who examined me on my 3 month check couldn’t see them, so I needed an ultrasound to check it was in the right spot. I imagine I’ll probably need an ultrasound to check it’s placement if anyone ever needs to check again. Who knows how they’re going to get it out. It’s a little annoying, I’m still adjusting to trusting it as a form of contraception (because I can’t physically see it), so not being able to feel the strings all the time isn’t helpful!

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    #123712
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    @tea you totally can! They’re great for reducing the risk of transmitting STIs like herpes or infections like Hepatitis A (from ingesting fecal matter). They’re also great as a tool if a partner feels squeamish about putting their mouth on/near a bum, or having a mouth put on/near their bum!

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    #123531
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    @curiousss @tea totally feeling this at the moment.
    The fires across Australia are extremely unsettling. While I fully believe in using this time to rally together and demand policy changes, it’s very difficult through the paralysing images we’re getting fed daily on the news and through social media.
    I’ve noticed it having a pretty huge impact on my mental health, as well as my partner’s. Our general interactions have changed, we’re sadder and more anxious.
    I’m sure this isn’t uncommon. Sadness, global disasters and emergencies would absolutely have an impact on connections and intimacy.

    Ugh. I guess it’s all about just giving ourselves/each other time.

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    #123530
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    @tea I love period undies too! My only problem with them (particularly as someone who used to use menstrual cups) is that I can’t tell how much I’m actually bleeding! It all just gets soaked up and I have nothing to go off, hahah.

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    #123529
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    Happy New Year, friends!
    I’m very similar to you, @aunt_flo, I don’t really do resolutions either, just some gentle goals to better my life in the most no-pressure kind of way.

    Most of mine are around food this year too! I’d like to start eating seasonally and buying from wholesalers at markets rather than big grocery companies. I also have a whole bunch of recipe books that I never use, so I’d like to start making at least one new recipe a week to work my way through them.
    2020 is a big year of change for me, so I’m looking forward to incorporating new habits into my new life!

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    #123252
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    hey @saisha, great question!

    @purple
    is right about testing and contraception (if you need it).
    I’ve used Skyn condoms a whole lot in the past and I’ve never had a problem. I particularly love them because they’re latex free so if I had a partner with a latex allergy or they were particularly sensitive to it, the ones I had on hand were never a problem. Durex is also a good brand! You can also try the female/internal condom, it goes inside the vagina (if you/they have one) instead of on the penis (if you/they have one) and works the same way as the male/external condom.
    Other safe-sex products that I recommend are lube and dental dams. Lube is great to make things more comfortable during sex, it feels amazing and helps to prevent small tears happening which can increase the likelihood of STI transmission. A dental dam is a sheet of latex that you can stretch across a surface of body (like the vulva or anus) if you’re having oral sex.

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    #123250
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    @rodeo14 ah okay! My misunderstanding.
    Doesn’t necessarily need to be your last time visiting a sex worker either if you want to go back!

    I hope it all goes well for you and you can get more info face-to-face with whoever tests you

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    #123186
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    Happy Monday @rodeo14!

    Like @nurse_nettie said, the risk of getting an STI from receiving oral sex is low. You should be okay, just get a check to be absolutely sure. 🙂

    I totally get the anxieties being magnified as it was your first time (congratulations, by the way!) but I do want to remind you that sex is super fun and super pleasurable! It comes with risks, just like anything else that we do in our lives, but there’s plenty of strategies (which you seem to be doing already) that make it safer, so you can enjoy the ride!

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    #123182
    sextronautsextronaut
    Moderator
    0

    Oh absolutely! @goldenrose receiving a surprise nude photo is so shocking, and even worse if someone next to you sees it.

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