I’ve got to admit I’ve been a sucker for the Bachelor / Bachelorette franchise in the past but totally agree with the lack of representation of race and bodies and sexuality.
My friend has just got me to pop Indian Matchmaking on my watch list (Netflix) but I haven’t viewed it yet. I did binge Finding Prince Charming (Stan) which is a gay man in search for love (and hosted by Lance Bass if you are old enough to remember NSYNC!), but again mostly white people.
I would LOVE to see a queer dating show and yes include all bodies. I would be there 100% for it. I am so tired of that boy-meets-girl on reality TV story line. I am even more annoyed at this seasons Bachelor (as a survivor super-fan) because of what Lockie did to Brooke but that’s a thread for hanging out channel maybe haha.
I am overall frustrated by the lack of representation of race and culture on Australian TV – here’s a 2016 study on diversity on Australian TV.
Also, Slutever (Viceland, SBS on Demand) is good viewing for gender and sexual diversity but it get’s quite niche. It’s a docu-series not reality TV but I definitely enjoyed the representation there.
I’ve definitely just let it all grow out more than usual the last few months. In summer I like to shave my legs but I wish I had never started (thanks patriarchy, beauty standards and great advertising on behalf of shaving companies haha) because I reckon that my legs wouldn’t be as hairy – but that could be a myth.
I haven’t shaved my pits for a while and when I met my partner I said ‘If you have a problem with girls with hairy pits then you aren’t the person for me’ so that was nice to get that out of the way but I do trim them so the hairs aren’t super long and do some of them grow! I trim my pubes but stopped shaving or waxing around the ‘bikini line’ ages too because I kept on getting in grown hairs and pimples and that killed my confidence way more than the actual hairs and TBH I just find that a trimmer does a pretty good job of keeping it tidy enough. Like others I wish I had the confidence to rock hairy legs but I don’t and just prefer them smooth!
Agree that it’s a mood killer if body hair comes up just before sex, it’s everyone’s personal preference how they groom (or don’t) and I think that commenting on someones body hair and how they wear it can be really hurtful – It’s never happened to me but I think it would knock my self-esteem a little.
I love that women are dying their pits – no way I could do this but I think it’s so much fun
@goldenrose I just looked back at your first post and yes sounds like you’ve come such a long way! It’s so great that our voices are here right now and on platforms like TikTok to share the struggle. Just in the last few days I’ve become so much more positive about my sexuality knowing that others have had the same experience.
100% love this @aunt_flo and think that I am experiencing many of the same thought you did in that ‘being silly’ or ‘attention seeking’
The reality is like you say is that when I came out to my boyfriend he was like that’s rad, I am happy for you and nothing changes for us and it felt SO DAMN RIGHT AND GOOD AND MADE SENSE!!! Just to vocalise it and to not be dismissive of my sexuality but to own it.
I’m glad to hear your friends were so supportive – I hope my friends do the same. I don’t plan on telling anyone soon aside from my partner and my ex (who came out to me when we were together so I know he’d be stoked for me) and my cousin who came out last year too. So choosing carefully with the people who I know will take me seriously and be so happy for me. Nothing changes for me, I just feel a little more complete and whole. Gosh it’s so weird living your life as a straight lady and then being like ‘tah-dah’ I’m queer!!! Give’s me SO much empathy for everyone who’s worked through this before and into the future.
And for the support here, incredible x
After posting in what is pansexual I had raised the question am I queer enough?
Thank you so much @sextronaut for starting this thread and I really feel all of your comments here. I feel like because I am in a ‘straight’ relationship that I am not queer enough. I realise that this is part preference or programming and despite having relationships with people of different genders (mostly secretly – I was closeted) I don’t feel like I should have to justify my pansexuality but I kind of feel like some LGBTQ people I know would say ‘but you’ve only had/mostly had boyfriends’ so you aren’t really pansexual you are just a bit hetero-flexible or something along those lines.
To be honest I haven’t really come out to any of my friends because I am scared that they won’t take me seriously or just laugh it off…
Great post @goldenrose I’ve more recently been understanding what Pansexual is because I’ve decided that that that’s my sexual identity / orientation which is kind of cool for me, YAY!!
So for me my sexual / romantic attraction isn’t based on men or women attraction. I had previously been a closeted bi-sexual/closeted confused til recently. I am sexually and romantically attracted to lots of different people – they can be female or male or non-binary or transgender.
I am in a ‘straight’ relationship as in I am female and he is male so I guess I still struggle with not being pansexual or queer enough because most of my relationships have also been predominately male. I guess that is part preference (or part programming) and having a preference is totally valid in the same way that you can be gay or bi and have a preference to the type of person you are attracted to. I also am struggling with that I don’t have to justify my pansexuality to everyone by proving I am queer enough or in a relationship with someone queer. Does that make sense? Interesting thought though and wonder if anyone else has struggled with this (Edit yes – I found this thread about being confident in your sexuality)
So for me someone’s gender doesn’t weigh into if I am attracted to them sexually or romantically. Basically it means I have SO many crushes because I find so many people attractive!
Welcome! @piperr42 & @spookyfries great to have you here.
I’ve been watching A LOT of survivor lately I feel like I am becoming better equipped for the zombie apocalypse by the day
Just boosting this thread back to the top 🙂 we’ve had a few new people join us recently so jump on here and say hi 🙂
Soo I follow Bye Filepe on Instagram and apparently heaps of people on Tinder just don’t care about social distancing and are still trying to hook up. Has anyone experienced this or heard this?
When I was on Tinder and Bumble I definitely had so many amazing text conversations or phone conversations where i’d be laughing and think i had this incredible connection with someone then i would meet irl and be SO disappointed because it would be such a non-event. Yeah, giving it more thought I couldn’t go on for months like this if I was still single. Was so optimistic at the start of isolation haha
@goldenrose Paint and Pinot is a great idea – I do it on my own already does that count LOL
hang in there for that Centrelink!
I need to get into animal crossing haha
Sorting out my books is up there on my list!
FaceTime wines has become the new normal for me and my mates as well.
It’s been a great opportunity for me to get all those pesky jobs done like going through my wardrobe and hanging pictures on the wall. Hope you are all staying sane RN.
haha @goldenrose ‘the stuff that gets around the sides of condoms’ – I think it was Hannah
I got 100% PHEW!
I used to believe was that condoms would protect you from all STIs.
This is a little embarrassing to admit but I also used to think that you only needed condoms for penis/vagina sex (aka to prevent pregnancy) but oral and anal was okay EEK. I didn’t really know about STIs because my sex education was really poor growing up in a conservative background..
I’ve definitely had sex with guys who reckon that their penis’ were too big for the condom or it was too tight *UGH
Hey @curiousss oh my, my partner and I have been living together for 4 months now and heck is isolation weird and funny (and sometimes super annoying) to do together.
I am working from home full time at the moment and my partner has gone onto a one week on / one week off roster which means we are home together for 9 days straight every other week EEK.
Basically we had to put in rules like when he comes home (at 3.30 / 4.00) I am still working for another hour so he can come say hi but NO it is not a good time for a chat – I still have an hour or two of work to do. We are lucky our house is big enough that we each have our own rooms on-top of the shared bedroom, but if you are in an apartment I’d suggest creating your own individual spaces that where you can escape each other – you can use pot plants or furniture as dividers if you have the room!
As a couple we allow ourselves to express all emotions i.e. sometimes we just crack the shits and the other person will hold the space for that – it’s never personal, we are all human and we always apologise. I’ve lost track of the times where I’ve had to say ‘sorry I was grumpy’. It is okay to bicker a little and like @earth_mama said it will just get you to where you are meant to be a little quicker.
So, we celebrate our one year anniversary on Sunday and we’ve had to be creative about what that looks like and make it special for us despite all the madness. One thing we are trying to strengthen our relationship with is cooking together one night a week – learning a completely new recipe and doing it together. So far it’s been fun and it’s nice to learn something together.