Let’s start with the basics. The vagina is the muscular tube that connects the vulva (the outer parts you can see) to the cervix (the opening to the uterus inside the body). The vagina is inside your body. You can’t see it from the outside

The vulva includes the labia majora (outer ‘lips’) and labia minora (inner ‘lips’), the clitoris or ‘clit’, the opening of the urethra (the hole where pee comes out), and the entrance of the vagina.

A lot of people say “vagina” when they actually mean “vulva”, but they’re different parts.

What should a vulva look like?

There’s a lot of confusion about what a vulva ‘should’ look like so let’s clear some things up.

• Labia come in many shapes, sizes, and colours and no two are the same.
• The labia majora, or outer lips, are covered in skin and grow pubic hair (pubes).
• The labia minora, or the inner lips, are hairless and full of glands that keep them moist and soft. They can be different in size and shape, asymmetrical (unequal in size), and it is common for them to hang outside the outer lips.

If you’re worried about what your vulva looks like, you can always ask a doctor.

A healthy vagina will have a mild smell that can change throughout the menstrual cycle, from sweet and tangy to musty to metallic.  If you notice an unusual smell coming from your vagina, it’s a good idea to see a doctor or nurse.

Did you know that your vagina (internal body part) is self-cleaning? It’s designed to maintain its own natural balance of healthy bacteria, and it does a pretty good job on its own.

To keep your vulva (the outside bits) clean and fresh, you only need to wash gently with warm water. You can do this in the shower.

There are lots of products that claim to ‘clean’ your vagina, but they can actually mess with your natural pH balance. It’s best to keep it simple and avoid soaps, douches, or scented products inside the vagina.

Everyone with a vagina has vaginal discharge (a watery fluid or slightly thicker substance that flows out of the vaginal opening). It’s a way the body maintains a healthy vagina.

There can be a lot of shame and embarrassment around vaginal discharge, so one of the most important things to remember is that there’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Vaginal discharge is totally normal and it can change throughout your menstrual cycle. It’s a good idea to get to know what is ‘normal’ for your body so you can make sure you get support if you have any questions or notice anything unusual.

The tricky part? Most STIs don’t have any symptoms, so you might not know you have one. That’s why it’s important to use condoms or dental dams and get regular STI tests if you’re sexually active, even if you feel fine. Testing is quick, easy, and confidential, and it helps keep you and your partners safe.

If you’re having sex that can result in pregnancy (penis-in-vagina sex) you’ll also need to think about contraception to avoid unplanned pregnancy. There are so many options when it comes to contraception (IUDs, pills, implants etc.), but condoms are the only type of contraception to protect against both pregnancy and STIs.

Vaginas are generally pretty low maintenance, but if something doesn’t feel quite right, it’s a good idea to check in with a doctor or nurse. Some common things to look out for include:

• A sudden change in discharge (colour, texture, or smell)
• Itching, redness, discomfort or swelling around your vulva or vagina
• Pain during sex or when peeing
• Bleeding between periods or after sex

These symptoms don’t always mean something’s wrong, but it’s always better to get it checked to be sure.

Cervical screening, also known as the Cervical Screening Test, is a free preventative health check for people with a vagina, aged 25 to 74, that aims to detect the human papillomavirus (HPV). Some people have had the HPV vaccine which helps to protect them against HPV but even if you have had the HPV vaccine, it is still important to get a Cervical Screening Test (typically once every five years). It’s free if you have Medicare!

If you’re feeling safe, relaxed, and aroused, sex should feel pleasurable. You might notice sensations like warmth, pressure, or a sense of fullness during penetration. Some people with vaginas enjoy penetration, while others find more pleasure in clitoral stimulation, or a combination of both.

If you’re having penetrative vaginal sex (with a penis, fingers, or a sex toy), it’s totally normal for things to feel a bit tight or uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re nervous or not fully aroused. Take your time, go slow, and use plenty of water-based lube. Remember, you can always say no and stop at any time.

If sex is consistently painful or uncomfortable, it’s worth checking in with a doctor or nurse. Pain during sex is more common than many people realise, but it’s not something you have to just put up with. Often, there are simple things that can be done to help you feel more comfortable.

At the end of the day, sex should always be consensual and feel safe, comfortable, and good for you. Take your time, explore what feels right, communicate openly, and never feel bad for asking for what you want (or saying no to what you don’t).

What about orgasms?

For someone with a vagina, an orgasm often involves rhythmic muscle contractions around the genitals, a warm rush of pleasure, and sometimes full-body sensations. But here’s the most important thing: not everyone orgasms during sex and that’s okay.

You might:

• Orgasm quickly
• Take time to get there
• Not orgasm at all
• Enjoy sex without ever having an orgasm

All of these are completely valid.

In fact, most people with vaginas don’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Research shows that clitoral stimulation is the most reliable way to reach orgasm.

The clitoris is a small but powerful organ with over 8,000 nerve endings (more than any other part of the human body). Its only job? Pleasure. For many people, touching or stimulating the clitoris is the most reliable way to orgasm (through masturbation or with a partner).

Orgasms aren’t everything

There’s a lot of pressure in movies, porn, and even everyday conversation to make orgasms seem like the goal of sex. But sex isn’t a performance or a checklist.

If you’re not orgasming, it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you or your partner. It might just take time, communication, or experimenting with different types of touch or positions.

It’s also totally normal if orgasming doesn’t happen every time, or if you’re still figuring out what feels good. Exploring your body through masturbation can be a great way to learn what you like, which can help you feel more confident during sex with a partner.