Hey @tea! Thank you so much for sharing your story, I feel so grateful that you feel comfortable being open and honest in this space. While I’ve never experienced body dysphoria or re-thought my gender identity, I can imagine that it could be quite exhausting, and sometimes difficult. Good on you for getting through what you have endured already, and continuing the journey. I’m sure I speak for all of us on Play Safe that we’re here to support you with whatever you need.
It sounds like you’re doing a fair bit of research, which is what I was going to suggest. While I feel like my assigned sex is harmonious with my gender identity, I experienced a re-evaluation of my identity when I realised my bisexuality. Research is what helped me the most, specifically personal accounts. Social media was fantastic, specifically youtube and facebook groups all about what it feels like to be bi. Hearing personal stories that were so, so similar to my own made me realise that 1. I wasn’t the only one experiencing those things and 2. not everyone in the world experiences those things, it’s a very specific experience.
I think indulging in things that affirm your gender identity is the way to go. Spend more time with the people that make you feel safe and use your pronouns. You could change your look – get a haircut, groom your body hair differently, change up your style, etc. Pamper yourself in ways that make you feel good, like using specific scents of body products. Focus on the things that your body can do, rather than what it looks like, or focus on things that you love about your body.
Most importantly – there’s nothing that you ‘should’ be doing or ‘need’ to do. Transition if it’s something you feel a drive to do. See a doctor about testosterone if it’s something you’d like to do.
Have you checked out The Gender Centre? There’s a non-binary support group on the first Monday night of every month, and there’s one tonight! https://gendercentre.org.au/support-groups/non-binary
Always here to chat if you need. <3
