Oral herpes and disclosure

[peachy]

There’s been some really good discussion around herpes stigma here already, so with that in mind I’m wondering how people go about disclosing their status if they get oral coldsores if they’re not currently experiencing an outbreak? In the past I’ve just avoided kissing/oral sex on coldsore days and then disclosed my status once I feel like I can trust the other person. But it usually causes a lot of anxiety in the lead up to that conversation, which can’t be healthy! 

[tea]

I do the exact same thing @peachy! I’ll just not kiss anyone if I’m having an outbreak and let the person know later. Or if I’ve been talking to the person for a while, I’ll mention when I’m having an outbreak so they know.

I don’t know how to really bring it up though, I would love to be more informative but I’m just not sure how to go about that kind of conversation?

[Purple]

I’m the same, just bring it up after some time or say when I have an outbreak. What does everyone think about the discrepancy between have oral herpes and genital herpes (both type 1). I think it’s really unfair how people with HSV 1 genitally might feel morally obligated to disclose but people with oral herpes do not have that same kind of obligation. I actually just find the whole herpes stigma so ridiculous, I wish it would go away. It breaks my heart to know that often people feel so defeated after a diagnosis.

[tea]

@purple Yeah I really wish the negative stigma would go away too! I have an outbreak at the moment so I’ve popped a patch on, at it with the lysine tablets and took some famvir too! But since I have a blister at the moment I get a lot of ‘oh what’s that’ and I’ll be like ahh just a cold sore! Because, no big deal really, but then people get so grossed out by it? What’s the big deal about a scab on my face? I have scabs on my knees too but people don’t recoil at that? Ughh, social stigmaaaa….

[Author]

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