Interesting conversation where the context seems to be that a low libido is the bad thing, and that you think you need to change something to match your partner. Im 52, and have been through many relationships, some good, some bad, but the thing for me that Ive taken from all of this, is that relationships are a two way street.
I dont know if you have ever heard this before but it resonates with me in relation to sexual compatibility in long term relationships… men need sex to feel loved, while women need to feel loved to want sex.
Is the problem here that you have lost the feeling of being loved? We all become complacent about things in our lives, and its very easy to fall in the trap of taking our partners for granted.
Im going to make a stereo typical generalisation here and state that men are inherently bad at emotional connection, and if its the emotional connection you need to feel loved, and subsequently want to make love, then your man has to step up. I recall a saying once that the best foreplay in a long term relationship is for the man to do the dishes after dinner while the woman goes and has a long hot bath. Now this exact scenario may not float your boat, but think about it, when was the last time your man made you feel special?
I lost my longest relationship to factors that I thought were outside my control (loss of a son), however at the end of the day, if I had put the effort in to understand my wife and her needs, Im sure we would still be together today. But just remember, its a two way street, you need to take time to understand his needs too. Sometimes its a case of fake it until you make it.
Ive since found the light at the end of the tunnel, and I now have a partner that is my best mate, my lover, and my rock. We are continually exploring this world of opporutnity together and have just started our own online adult products store, in the hope of sharing some of the “spice of life”. Come say hello and check us out, and think about how you might be able to re-ignite that spark that was once there. http://www.bedbuddies.com.au