cant orgasm?

[Anonymous]

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[ElleBelle]

Nope, not at all @curious. It can take a while for women to discover what they like, both with sex and masturbation. Some women never orgasm at all, and some only orgasm if the clitoris is stimulated. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. My best advice would be too relax, let yourself enjoy the moment and try a few different things until you hit on something you like.

[Anonymous]

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[NickiPower]

I totally agree with what @ElleBelle says, it can take a while (through trial and error too 😉 ) to figure out what can make you orgasm, and everyone is different – some people like outside stimulation, some people hit the G-Spot internally. The main thing is not to stress about it because that doesn’t help getting to orgasm at all! 

[Aunt_Flo]

Thirded! Not everyone can orgasm from penetrative sex, and not everyone can orgasm! The important part about sex and sexual pleasure is that you’re enjoying it.

[Kit]

100% agree. You and your boyfriend are still discovering all the joys of what you do and don’t both like, and it can take a long time to find something that results in climax for you, if at all. Sex isn’t prescriptive and there isn’t a ‘right’ way so just make sure you’re relaxed and doing what feels good for both of you 🙂

[Anonymous]

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[ElleBelle]

That’s a good approach to have @curious!

[Anonymous]

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[NickiPower]

Totally agree with @Kit, it can take a while to figure out what you really like but it’s all part of the fun! 

[Anonymous]

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[Kit]

Hey @curious, I understand your boyfriend’s concerns; I’ve had exes who felt the same way at the beginning of a relationship—which showed care and interest in my experience as well as their own—and ultimately led to more fulfilling sex for the both of us.
His comments about making loud noises during sex made me think of a discussion we had on porn vs reality. I tagged you into it so you can see. Maybe you’d consider showing the thread to him?

[Aunt_Flo]

Hey @curious, it can sometimes rattle your self-esteem if you can’t make your partner orgasm – as @Kit said, we learn from porn and films that orgasms are easily achieved – in real life, it’s not the case. It sounds like you find sex with him pleasurable – if that’s the case, it might be helpful to move the conversation away from orgasming and focusing on pleasure instead. Really, pleasure, closeness, intimacy – those are the things that sex is about, rather than orgasming.

Do you think you’re orgasming? It can be difficult to explain what orgasming feels like, especially since it’s different for everyone, and sometimes different each time. It can be a small feeling of ‘release’, a tingling sensation, or a big overwhelming pleasurable feeling. Clitoral tingling, and lubrication are usually signs of arousal.

[CloakOfAsh]

As a guy it can feel that you’re letting your partner down if they don’t climax but it takes time, patience and trust. It doesn’t just happen and for some people it’s extremely difficult. It’s also not the end goal. Enjoy the journey – it’s the fun part anyway! 🙂

[ElleBelle]

Hey @curious , it’s been a couple of weeks now so just *curious* (haha see what I did there!) to see how it’s all going.

[Author]

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