Confidence – in the bedroom

[Nicky101]

Well said @Kit :smiley:

[MsBlueStreak]

@kindofsquishy that entire description sounds a lot like the scene in Eat, Pray, Love when Julia Roberts gives herself and her friend permission to buy new/bigger jeans so she can keep eating the pizza napoli (in Napoli, so why wouldn’t you), because what man turns down a naked lady ever.

That was actually seriously liberating to hear and consider for me. I’d never had huge hangups, but it has certainly helped me to remember to let all of them go and just be in the moment.

[mak_trouble891]

I had a chat with my partner recently about what turns him on @kindofsquishy and surprisingly its not the things that I would of thought. He likes my stretch marks, and he doesn’t even notice that my tummy jiggles…
It was a good to understand what he likes on me, and to see how much of a critic I am of myself, when he doesn’t care all that much.  

[Nicky101]

Thats great @mak_trouble891 i think sometimes we think of ourselves badly when in reality there is no problem. 

[Kit]

This thread <3

[kindofsquishy]

I asked my partner what he liked the most about my body and he replied with censored statement because it was very personal and explicit but you can get the idea lmao. It actually was a good reminder because I was starting to feel down on myself! 

[ElleBelle]

When do you reckon the most comfortable time is to have a chat with your partner about what turns them on? Like, in bed when you’re just cuddling, or right after sex, or at the breakfast table? “So honey, what turns you on in bed? Please pass the toast.”

[Kit]

Lol @ElleBelle 😀 Over toast or other more sensual food could take a different direction very quickly….

[CloakOfAsh]

Perhaps bringing it up in the lead up “hey could we try/ I really want to try / what do you think of x”. Your mind is probably ‘ready to go’ anyway and is likely not on other stuff. 

[CloakOfAsh]

With above in mind – a post show chat might help. “didn’t like when you did x” “how good was y” style talk

[NickiPower]

@ElleBelle Wouldn’t it be better over toast? I’m just thinking that people may be anxious about discussing what they don’t/do like and you don’t want the anxiety association with the bedroom, it could lead to further performance problems… 

[CloakOfAsh]

@NickiPower strokes for folks I think. Personally I compartmentalise so I wouldn’t want to talk about something like that over breakfast as it’s my time to organise my day etc

[NickiPower]

@CloakOfAsh Yeah, I can totally see that! I’d probably be more inclined to talk about it on the weekend too, since it seems the weekends are less rushed! 

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