I am of the opinion that your sexuality belongs to you and sometimes we choose to share it with others, sometimes we keep it just ours. It is as indistinguishable from us as our very character, and it is ours to wield how we think best 🙂
Actually, I think this opens up a good conversation for communication in relationships – partners may feel threatened/ashamed/embarrassed/scared of sex toys for whatever reason but communicating those feelings as to the WHY could help break down that stigma.
Anyway, I’m mostly a no. No, I don’t think using a sex toy counts as cheating – however, I think if that use is being used at the expense of a partners pleasure/intimacy/attention etc, then it can become an issue.
I had a partner who would masturbate secretly, a LOT, and neglect my needs – which definitely caused a lot of issues and we ultimately ended up breaking up. Not the same thing entirely, but that’s where I stand on the issue.
I think it really depends on how someone defines cheating. Personally, I think feeling inadequate or threatened doesn’t count as cheating at all. However, it can definitely cause issues and communication is the key to interrogating thoughts.
I also think there’s a lot of variables! What if the sex toy is a sex doll or sex robot? Does that change things for any of you?
Ohh and then what if a person becomes emotionally attached to the sex doll @sextronaut? I think that would change things for me, but then communicating well in the relationship could help prevent this from happening I suppose.