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Home Forums Sex & Relationships Does using a sex toy count as cheating?

This topic contains 8 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by sextronaut sextronaut 11 months ago.

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #121198
    sextronaut
    sextronaut
    Moderator

    This thought has popped into my head recently – and my initial reaction was no, but trying to figure out why I think that way has been the most interesting for me.

    For me, I think having independence from your partner and the freedom to explore pleasure by yourself is key to all my relationships. I’d love to hear your opinions on this!

    #121200
    Purple
    Purple
    Moderator

    Nope – because there’s no way a person can be compared in any way to a toy. I did have plenty of partners that were jealous and threatened by the toys I had/have though!

    #121201
    Aunt_Flo
    Aunt_Flo
    Moderator

    Nope, I definitely think it’s not.

    I tend to hide them from sexual partners, though. Not because I’m ashamed, but because i’ve gotten a mixed reception before – I definitely think they’ve felt threatened as well @purple!

    Same deal with porn, or masturbating while thinking of someone else – it’s not cheating in my book, but nor is it always the best topic to bring up with a sexual partner.

    #121204
    EarthMama
    EarthMama
    Moderator

    No way!
    I am of the opinion that your sexuality belongs to you and sometimes we choose to share it with others, sometimes we keep it just ours. It is as indistinguishable from us as our very character, and it is ours to wield how we think best 🙂

    #121211
    tea
    tea
    Moderator

    Actually, I think this opens up a good conversation for communication in relationships – partners may feel threatened/ashamed/embarrassed/scared of sex toys for whatever reason but communicating those feelings as to the WHY could help break down that stigma.

    Anyway, I’m mostly a no. No, I don’t think using a sex toy counts as cheating – however, I think if that use is being used at the expense of a partners pleasure/intimacy/attention etc, then it can become an issue.

    I had a partner who would masturbate secretly, a LOT, and neglect my needs – which definitely caused a lot of issues and we ultimately ended up breaking up. Not the same thing entirely, but that’s where I stand on the issue.

    #121270
    sextronaut
    sextronaut
    Moderator

    @tea @aunt_flo @earthmama @purple thanks for sharing!

    I think it really depends on how someone defines cheating. Personally, I think feeling inadequate or threatened doesn’t count as cheating at all. However, it can definitely cause issues and communication is the key to interrogating thoughts.

    I also think there’s a lot of variables! What if the sex toy is a sex doll or sex robot? Does that change things for any of you?

    #121272

    ashisharora
    Participant

    I think no it helps in making relationship more spice and fun.

    #121300
    tea
    tea
    Moderator

    Ohh and then what if a person becomes emotionally attached to the sex doll @sextronaut? I think that would change things for me, but then communicating well in the relationship could help prevent this from happening I suppose.

    #121327
    sextronaut
    sextronaut
    Moderator

    I agree @ashisharora – bringing sex toys into your sex life/relationship can be incredible and add new sensory experiences that you didn’t know you would love. I think they’re fab.

    @tea I know! I think that would change things for me, too. Communication is key!

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