@earthmama I like where you’re going with that, and I think it’s all about how you frame it to yourself.
My accidental dry spells have kinda ended up turning into something I’ve maintained by choice – I think once you break past societal/personal pressure @purple and @curiousss mentioned, you reach the point where you can really focus on what you want and do your thing, as @andymate said! Personally, I went from hooking up with people because I felt like I ‘had to’ be having regular sex, as a single sex-posi person, to becoming way more selective about who/when I slept with someone – because once I separated myself from that mental pressure, I found that when I decided to sleep with someone, I was really super extra into it because I was being more selective for me? And I generally had a better time (like, a great time). I don’t know if that makes sense.
And then yeah, I didn’t realise as an introvert how much extra emotional energy going on lots of dates and sleeping with different people was costing me. As someone with limited social energy in the tank, I’m really seeing the benefits personally of channelling that into my family, friends, other relationships and areas of my life!
But if you’d asked me right after my break-up if I thought I could feel that good about a dry spell, I would’ve laughed at you. Kinda surprised myself with how it turned out.