What were/are your biggest worries about having sex before your first time? Any particular worries for a specific act? Or any that you found you really didn’t need to worry about at all?
For me it was definitely pain. I was so certain that the first time I had penis-in-my-vagina-sex it would hurt HEAPS and then after that it would never hurt again. LOL I WAS WRONG. It did hurt, but it got better as I relaxed into it. And the reasons sex may have hurt since, have been pretty easily solved – like with lube or clearing up an infection.
I also have queef-anxiety about a number of sexual positions. I know it’s totally normal and any awesome partner wouldn’t care, but it feels really uncomfortable for me and I’m still embarrassed! – anyone else experience this?
Such a great question @HoneyPot ! I was TERRIFIED about giving and receiving oral sex. I could not imagine ever feeling comfortable with having someone that intimately close to me- until it happened of course 😛 ! I was also so worried about the prospect of giving oral sex, that I asked my friend to demonstrate for me on a can of deodorant… The advice I give others is to just relax and let your body lead you, it really comes naturally.
I totally understand that! I have never felt particularly confident about giving oral sex to any set of genitals – I think I’m more apprehensive with vulvas though which is weird cause I have one. That is such a cute bonding mem 🙂 though deodorant tastes awful so I’d be a bit scared putting a can near my mouth!
@HoneyPot oh so true! The lid was on, so it was ok…
I know!! I totally agree with vulvas seeming like the more terrifying genitalia- do you think this just comes down to the fact that we are taught less about them? The whole mirror in the bathroom thing- as oppose to penis images which people literally draw CONSTANTLY! Thoughts?
Oh my gosh yes! The mirror thing should have it’s own thread! I do think there is more mystery there probs in a large part misogyny bullshit but yeah there are just dicks everywhere hahah And we are taught less about them! So many people don’t know how many holes are down there! aaahhhh
@EarthMama that’s so interesting to hear that oral sex was terrifying for you. As a guy who has sex with guys, that was kind of just the go-to that we didn’t think twice about 😀
I think I know more about penetrative sex now to be aware of all the things that could go wrong and be worried about – at my first time I knew a fair bit, but with no practical experience I was just excited to finally be doing it haha and it was with a friend who was more experienced so he was really good about it and everything went perfectly, really.
OMG soo many…
basically just seeming from ‘I DONT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING’ haha
and oral sex.. I didn’t do it for sooo long cause I was like what if I gag and then vomit all over his dick???
I was really afraid of it hurting – and it didn’t….like at all. I was a bit body conscious early on as well and was really worried about receiving oral sex because of my pubic hair.
I think I was just anxious. I was 16 and it happened in a pretty unconventional setting. I think I just couldn’t believe it was happening. I was so excited and anxious at the same time. I think I was more worried that I would have been doing something wrong than any other fears I think. Having not much in-depth knowledge about gay male sex, I was pretty naive to the potentials things to go wrong or to be scared of
Oh gosh @CookieMonster the fear of vomiting is an intense one! @MintMilano thats awesome that it went really well 🙂 And awesome @Aunt_Flo that there wasn’t pain! I certainly felt self conscious about pubic hair as well.
I totally get what you mean about being scared of doing something wrong @DeftRat ! I definitely was like…uhh i’m going to look or seem silly or like I haven’t done this before and i hadn’t so hahah who really cares?
Why is it not ok to have not done sex things before? Like we all had to start somewhere!