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Home Forums Sex & Relationships How do you give ‘enthusiastic consent’?

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  • #106575
    ekoorb9
    Keymaster

    Just read this about ‘enthusiastic consent’ and think it raises some interesting points.

    For me, I guess (for sex) it’s usually ‘implied consent’ rather than ‘enthusiastic’. I’ve never had someone ask me every single time if I want to have sex  (nor have I asked them) as we’re usually agreeing through action. I like the fact that in this article they talk about how to negotiate consent nonverbally.

    Being able to read those body signals is so important.

    Do you follow any of the advice in this article? What do you think?

    #120007
    teatea
    Moderator

    Ohh interesting article @ekoorb9 !!

    I guess we’ve talked about similar issues regarding consent in some other threads which I’ll link to here:

    Consensual

    Tea Consent

    I like how the article you’ve linked to talks about the different kinds of consent though because I guess not everyone is universal when it comes to how they give or receive consent. Being able to read those body signals IS so so important but for me definitely establishing boundaries before sexy time is important too.

    If anything changes before, during or after sexual activity for me in terms of what I want to do or don’t want to do, I’ll announce that verbally.

    ‘Enthusiastic’ consent sounds so cute though and I’m all for that positive movement!!

    #120041
    PurplePurple
    Moderator

    I love this! I think at first with a new partner it’s always great to ask along the way, and then if you’ve been with someone for a while I like the approach of “lets try things and do new things but if at ever point you want to stop we can stop” kind of approach. I LOVE the part about avoiding people who are vulnerable, if anyone looks like they are too drunk or a bit out of it just leave them be (or get them home safely – even better). A few weekends I was intimate with a friend who was a bit more drunk than me. They weren’t vulnerable and I didn’t feel like I was taking advantage of them but they had definitely had a bit more to drink than I. I asked if it was okay for us to continue and if that’s what they really wanted – it felt slightly odd as I’d never asked that before when being intimate with a male – but of course checking for consent goes both ways!

    #120073
    teatea
    Moderator

    @purple 100% agree with keeping that communication going when you have a new partner! Soooo important!! Yeah checking consent totally goes for both ways, I guess you usually hear about men needing to get consent though so it can feel weird when that’s not the case! But totally valid!

    #120084
    EarthMamaEarthMama
    Moderator

    I heard this term for the first time the other day and I also love it! Mostly for the conversation it sparks. Even though it may be slightly prickly to navigate in actuality, I just adore how sex positive the phrase is…Enthusiastic consent. It’s like saying, have sex with someone who is going: ‘Yes please, this is GREAT!’

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