That’s a really great question @Caiti. Sometimes, I think despite a partner’s best intentions, your mood isn’t matching the situation or you can be preoccupied with 101 other things. I’ve found it really sucks when your partner thinks they’ve done something wrong but really your mind has just been elsewhere and it was just never going to happen. What do you find helps in this situation?
My current partner does this. He said everything will be going along fine and then something about work, etc will pop into his head and he can’t shake it, and focusing on getting rid of the thought makes it worse. I don’t have this problem, so I’m not sure how to help him.
I have noticed that since being on my current birth control a similar thing happens to me. Like as much as may be enjoying myself, I just can’t finish. I don’t know if it is directly because of the birth control, but it doesn’t seem to matter what I do, and as a result my mind begins to think of other things. I feel so guilty sometimes, especially when he wants me to cum so much.
Yeah it sounds like a really common problem, but one that people beat themselves up about too much as well. When you consider how anxious and distracted Australians are in general it makes sense that it would carry over into the bedroom. I’ve been trying to get into mindfulness for stress- takes a bit of work but its super legit- but it seems like it could work for sex as well – http://www.mindful.org/whats-sex-got-to-do-with-mindfulness/ 🙂