I’ve recently started dating someone and am so happy with how the relationship is going. My only reservation is that they get jealous when an ex is mentioned. I get that it could be a bit of a trigger to bring up past relationships but it’s also super tricky to pretend there is no history there.
Any tips to manage this? I don’t want to upset them but a lot of the experiences i’ve had have been with previous partners, so I feel like I can’t share stories sometimes. Also, i’m not a jealous person AT ALL so sometimes forget things could be sensitive to others.
Hey @yogigirl so lovely to hear you’re enjoying this new relationship! Are you still together? Were you able to manage things?
I’ve had this come up before in past relationships and it really just comes down to open communication with your partner. Likely they didn’t have a good time in their previous relationships or it could be something else entirely! The only real way to know is to ask them and assure them your questions are coming from a good place, where you want them to be comfortable.
As @tea said, it s a lot about communication.
I am having a new relationship and it s going so well in terms of communication. When we talk about something that makes us uncomfortable, we always speak it out and share our thoughts.
One thing I think is really important is delicacy: just know what topics are more sensitive for you two and respect it, get along with it, small steps.
This comes from someone like me who feels jealous a lot when my partner talks about her ex partners, and I m making so much progress.
Also, mind the reasons why you are talking about ex partners. Sometimes it s not the best thing to do, whereas other times there needs to be transparency about it.
Hope it helps!
Thanks @mapho and @tea! The relationship is still going strong 🙂 We had a discussion about jealousy just the other day as he finds it really cool that I don’t feel jealous at all when in relationships. He said that he’s feeling a lot better now – I think maybe at the beginning there was a bit of fear around me still being hung up on my ex but now its VERY clear we are just friends. He seems to have settled in to things and feels more comfortable. I’ve definitely tried to limit bringing the ex up though as I would never want to internationally upset him!
you’re right @yogigirl. these situations can be intense. I personally avoid talking about details of my past relationships with my current partner, or when I’m telling a story that involves my ex, I just censor parts of the story that I think might trigger my partner’s jealousy 😀
Now that I said that, I think I’ stupid to do that :-)))
Yes totally agree that not everything is appropriate to share @ryanmason. As long as communication is from a place of trust and honesty then I think it’s good for growth. You always want to feel you can open up to your partner and not walk on eggshells, but also respect them and not say things to outwards hurt their feelings.