Last night I was talking to a girlfriend about losing our virginities and we both had slightly different experiences. It got me thinking about what I wish I had done differently… I wish I had waited until I knew I was completely ready and that I was doing it because I wanted to do it not because I thought everyone else at school was doing it.
All my friends at school had already lost theirs so I thought I may as well just ‘get it over with’ and sort of just decided on the night. I feel like it wasn’t special and it wasn’t how I would have liked it to be.
Make sure you are doing it because YOU want to do it, not because you think everybody else is doing it… there’s no rush!
What was your first experience like? Is there any advice you would give to others?
Absolutely make sure you’re doing it because you want to!!!!!
My first experience was pretty awful, to be honest. It was PV sex, I was uncomfortable and bled after. No orgasm. I really wish I knew more about being intimate with a partner prior to sex instead of just someone using me for their own pleasure I guess? Sex works both ways!
My first time was pretty good. No pain, as I had already torn my hymen (which was pretty painful at the time – a whole heap of stinging).
We also had to stop mid foreplay to put my laptop on and google how to use a condom! Simple as it might seem, we kept rolling it on inside out and were really confused.
We got it eventually.
We left on such a sour note though because he was SO disappointed that I didn’t orgasm – I wasn’t even that disappointed! I think he had a different view of what to expect. I actually had to comfort him at the end of it, hahaha.
Porn gives people unrealistic expectations of how women orgasm!
My first time ended up being okay. The day before we were trying and trying, and nothing happened because we were far too stressed! The next day, we were just watching a movie, super relaxed. Then we paused it, got to having sex (successfully!) then finished the movie once we’d finished. I didn’t orgasm, and I don’t think he noticed. I didn’t mind too much about that at the time. Looking back I wish I took more control over my sexuality and communicated that I wanted to orgasm. Also, we used vaseline for lube because we had nothing else. I now know this is a REALLY bad idea as it can increase the chances of a condom breaking. I wish I’d had some water based lube on hand.
My first time which was also PV, came a few years after I had initially planned. I ended up being so glad I waited because I had the confidence to ask for what I wanted and take it slow. We had a lot of trouble, as I was very tight, and I recall we ended up wasting about four condoms :/ lucky we knew when to give up a condom and start again!
I didn’t orgasm (until the next time a few days later) but it ended up being the loveliest experience. I was so excited to have finally succeeded that I could not wipe the grin off my face.
I am now super vocal about waiting until you reeeally want to have sex, not for fear of a bad experience, but because when it’s good, it’s so great and such an exciting moment! It’s always worth the wait.
@aunt_flo I’ve found a lot of my partners get so disheartened about not being able to make me come!! I’m always fine with it though as long as we’ve had a good time, that’s all that really matters (though orgasm is always greatly appreciated haha).
Wow @earthmama four??? I’m glad you got there in the end though!!
I think female pleasure definitely needs to be focused on more in regards to sex and intimacy!