@EarthMama been there, bought the t-shirt. I thought this guy was my “soulmate” and that we were made for each other and no one else would “get” me. I feel for ya, gal. Honestly I want to tell you that there is a quick fix to all of this, and I wish there was, but I haven’t found it yet. Whoever said time heals all wounds was right. Let yourself feel all of the ugly emotions, the good, the bad, and ride it out like a wave. Bit by bit you will find yourself thinking about him less and one day you will wake up and find that you haven’t thought about him in a while.
As for your new date, I’m a strong believer in putting yourself back out there and going on dates with no expectations. It can often be a good exercise in understanding that you can enjoy the company of someone new and flex those dating muscles, as often as you like. Also being honest with your new person about where you’re at mentally will help in managing any expectations that they might have about what they’d like out of the relationship. If you’re not ready to give your all, let them know. It’s totally fine saying “hey, I just want to hang out and take it slow for now.”
Take this time to do whatever you want: travel, stay out late with your friends, sleep in, eat ice cream, climb a mountain; whatever it takes for you to realise that there is a world out there that exists independently of the person you loved and it’s all there waiting to be explored.
Much love. xox