So I recently got out of a relationship earlier this year and I met this guy 2 months later and we clicked straight away and I was very forceful on the this is just sex! next min we are dating and literally spending all our time together.
We both ended relationships in at the start of the year and we have very lengthy conversations about our ex’s and our feelings. I have even said a few times are we going too fast maybe we should spend time apart but then an hr later I miss him and want to see him haha
Now we have booked a holiday together for March next year and looking at moving oversea’s and the end of next year….
are we moving too fast?
Hi @CookieMonster, if you have reservations about taking holidays together and moving overseas you probably aren’t ready. That being said, just because you ended your relationship fairly recently doesn’t mean that you can’t have another serious relationship and there is nothing wrong with moving fast if you really like the person, care about them and want to be with them. Do you really like and care for this guy?
New love can be intoxicating! I had a similar thing in my last relationship. It didn’t work out in the end, but in those early times you can get so smitten with those feelings and then you step back and go “whoa, how did we get here?!” But if you’re happy with him and how things are going then I say just enjoy the development and go with the flow. The fact you’re asking yourself that question means you’re aware of the possibly of it moving too quickly, so it sounds like you’re in a good position to reflect on it and just see how things progress. but the main thing is, in my opinion, if you’re enjoying it then let yourself enjoy it and don’t worry too much.
One of my friends got out of an engagement and met her now boyfriend of two and a bit years about two months after. It’s probably good you’re thinking about the practical side. But, if you’re genuinely enjoying his company, and enjoying yourself, there’s not really any harm I don’t think.
Relationships always move at different speeds!
@CookieMonster no right or wrong way to do things. As long as you’re both happy, don’t feel pressured and are enjoying the relationship why worry!
Hey @CookieMonster you can’t help when you meet someone and how you will feel, so don’t stress about timeline. That said, people always say the true test of a relationship is a vacation together! 😉
@CookieMonster I agree with everyone else. Enjoy what you’ve got with him and have FUN! I always tell my friends that as long as you’re having fun with someone just keep seeing where this will take you. Be open to the adventure that is possibly moving overseas but I would also say that things change when you move to new places and to, again, just go with whatever happens. Being conscious of the way the relationship has gotten to where it is good for you too, it doesn’t hurt to stop and think things through 🙂
Wow! How exciting and full of passion! @CookieMonster when you’ve asked your partner if it’s too fast or mentioned your reservations, what has he said? Do you get the feeling he’s right into the thick of it as well or not?
So good to hear @CookieMonster Happiness should always be big factor in a relationship. I know it sounds obvious, but I know a lot of people in relationships that, outwardly, don’t appear happy
Yes @CookieMonster seconded, happiness is often really undervalued so I’m so glad you’re feeling that way!
I totally agree with all that’s been said!
@CookieMonster I believe that the question ‘are we moving too fast?’ is mostly a socially constructed idea, devised by those afraid of heartbreak- which of course is valid, but also could lead to one leading a much smaller life than they otherwise hoped.
The conversation I always have in my head when making decisions that weigh present happiness against potential future pain is cyclical. By asking yourself the question ‘then what?’ ‘then what?’ ‘then what?’ to determine the outcome you are most afraid of, I believe will assist you in realising that that the fear of an end is no reason to deny the course of a great relationship.
So what if you’re moving too fast?
hey @CloakOfAsh thanks for checking up. Things are really good thank you 🙂 so there isn’t much more to say than that.
@EarthMama wow spot on the money there I think… maybe cause my friend was worried about me potentially heading for heartbreak again she got in my head but why deny the experience for the fear of what if….