Porn: Expectation vs Reality

[NickiPower]

I like where @walk_on_walls was headed with the question, and it’s a completely valid point. I think that people who are able to distinguish real from fake “realness” can pick it up right away, but people who can’t then become impressionable and get a warped sense of reality (they think it’s the norm) the more that they’re exposed to it. 

[Kit]

@curious Check out the comments above about moaning.

[mak_trouble891]

So I was wondering what peoples thoughts were on porn and relationships – are our expectations of porn use before being in a relationship the same or different once in a relationship?
– Is it ok to watch porn separately still or does that have to stop?
– Is it ok to watch porn together?

Personally I think this depends on each individual relationship and you have to do what works best for you, which all involves communication. But what about you guys?

[CloakOfAsh]

Really depends on each relationship and those involved. Like anything. Everyone has differing expectations/morals etc. 

[Aunt_Flo]

I think it’s fine to do both. Porn, within reason, can be a healthy part of masturbation, and masturbation is a great way to safely explore sexual fantasies without impacting your relationship. I think that if porn interferes in a relationship, e.g. it causes sexual insecurity, dysfunction etc., particularly one where there’s a lack of communication in this regard, it might indicate a problem.

But like you guys have said, it would, overall, depend on the people in the relationship.

[NickiPower]

I don’t see any issue with watching it separately @mak_trouble891 simply because porn interests could differ, even in a relationship. 

[ElleBelle]

I agree, it’s personally fine with me but something every couple would have to talk about to make sure they’re on the same page. I think it’s unrealistic to ask your partner to stop masturbating altogether, like people get sick or are not in the mood or you just get horny when they’re not there!

I’ve never actually watched porn with a partner but I’d be open to it. It would be interesting trying to choose a category, I have a hard enough time trying to decide what to watch on Netflix and that has much less variety than your average porn tube 😀

[MintMilano]

I don’t think the disconnect between porn and reality is a *massive* problem, as long as people are aware of the difference and don’t expect all their sexual experiences to reflect exactly what they see in porn. But unfortunately, *that* is a big problem. The topic of porn isn’t really addressed in sex education so we’re never really taught about the necessary distinctions. 
It’s also a problem for young gay people who usually don’t receive any type of sex education thats actually relevant to them, so they turn to the internet to learn about gay sex. This inevitably leads to exposure to porn, and learning about sex from porn, and once that happens it can be difficult to unblur those lines of sexual fantasy and sexual reality. 

[champagnepapi]

Am I the only one who makes comments to myself while watching porn? Like “ooh gurl that can’t feel good” when they’re twisted up in weird positions? 

In all seriousness though, we are in dire need of intelligent, ethnically made porn, especially given that so many young people use it. It is often also their first exposure to sex and forms a precedent for what they expect out of their sex lives for years to come. 

Anyone seen the movie Don Jon with Joseph Gordon Levitt? i found it was quite an engaging film about the effects of porn on your mind. 

[mak_trouble891]

@champagnepapi your not the only one who makes comments, the last time my partner and I tried to watch porn together, I commented on very similar this lol – such a mood killer LOL

[Kit]

^ Haha! 😀

Sounds like an interesting movie @champagnepapi. Thanks for the tip!

[ElleBelle]

You’re not alone @champagnepapi, I do that too  😀
I think the positions can be a bit unrealistic because they’re designed for the camera, not pleasure. In some pornos they practically do doggy style sideways so they can show the p in v action!

[MintMilano]

so true @ElleBelle ! I can’t remember who it was but I saw an interview with a male celebrity and they were talking about making their own sex tapes at home just for fun, and he said “It’s strange watching yourself having sex and realising that the things that feel the best don’t always look that great!” So on the flip side, things that look better don’t always feel great. I’d say thats a solid reason to NOT try ever position you see in porn. 

[CloakOfAsh]

@ElleBelle great point. Also if you have something you like already you don’t HAVE to tick all the boxes and do EVERYTHING in the movies. 

[tea]

@champagnepapi I totally do that too!! I can’t help but sit there thinking ‘wow these sex workers must be really tired, they probably did this scene 50 times and have been on the job for 8 hours’! 

Are there any realistic porn websites out there? 

[Author]

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