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  • #129884
    teatea
    Moderator
    1

    Now that we’re starting to slowly get toward a covid-normal way of life, has anyone else been struggling with getting back into socialising or dating?

    It’s only been a few weeks in, but I’m finding socialising very overwhelming! Going from not seeing anyone at all for months and then being able to see even just one person make me pretty anxious. I try to avoid questions about what I did during lockdown or covid, because I didn’t really do anything during it. Does anyone else do this? Or do you feel comfortable talking about lockdown life?

    One thing I’m enjoying about it is being able to go on dates with my partner again. We live together, but there’s something different about being able to go have brunch or dinner out at a cafe or something. It kind of feels like we’re at the start of our relationship again? Not that our ‘spark’ ever left, but it feels like that new-date spark feel.

    Have you been on any dates post-lockdown? Do you find it hard to socialise? If you’re doing okay, what has helped you?

    1
    #129887
    ExplorerDora
    Keymaster
    1

    Oh I totally get that! I am using the term ‘social discomfort’, especially around small talk and the questions that will come at me after some big life changes over lockdown. Something that helps me is having some pre-rehearsed one-liners I can use when I am put on the spot. Helps stop the word vomit and regretful over sharing. Would be keen to hear any other tips!

    I think it’s a real opportunity to do a friendship scan – pick and choose who we want to spend our time with again. Anyone else doing a bit of a friend purge over lockdown?

    Love that new-date feeling, great that you can get out together and enjoy. What’s your idea of a perfect date? Channeling Miss Rhode Island from Miss Congeniality ‘April 25th — because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket!’ (sorry, couldn’t help myself – love that movie! Anyone else?)

    1
    #129889
    YogiGirl
    Keymaster
    1

    I’m really struggling this time around too @tea and @explorerdora. With the last couple of lockdowns I came out the other side and was excited to get back to going out and seeing people, however this time I think I’ve got so used to my own company that I feel ‘safe’ at home and don’t have the same drive to go out. It feels very strange to be this way, as pre-covid I was the biggest extrovert and spent all my time with people. I think I’ve got a general lack of enthusiasm at the moment which is rubbing off on my ability to get back to ‘normality’.

    I definitely went through a friend purge during lockdown. It felt like a good chance to check in with who I really wanted to re-connect with and who it was easy to not see – that sounds bad but it’s true!

    One positive is that I used to say yes to everything and feel guilty for not attending an event, whereas now I’ve found the power of saying ‘no’ and honouring my need for rest. It feels empowering!

    1
    #129892
    teatea
    Moderator
    0

    Ohh yeah, I definitely have been choosing who to spend my time with more than I did pre-lockdown @explorerdora It’s something that has helped with my energy levels, because some people require more of a charged social battery than others. Does that make sense?

    The power of saying no is truly something wonderful @yogigirl It’s great you’ve been able to identify what you need at the time and give yourself some rest.

    I guess it’s important to remember that even if lockdown never happened, we would still grow and change as people. So maybe the new ‘normal’ is just us readjusting to those changes which wouldn’t be as obvious in a non-lockdown environment.

    0
    #129902
    ExplorerDora
    Keymaster
    0

    That makes total sense @tea

    Anyone else noticing the energy vampires out there?

    I think that is a lesson a lot of us are learning @yogigirl – not coming up with excuses to justify why we are saying no to over-filling our social calendar and ending up exhausted. Being honest about that important ‘me time’!

    Have you picked up or rediscovered a hobby/skill?

    I was finding it difficult to get into reading or anything creative. But yesterday I really got into a sewing project – looked up hours later and found it was dark, I was hungry and my legs were numb from being crossed for so many hours!

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    #129908
    YogiGirl
    Keymaster
    0

    Hey @explorerdora, I LOVE the term ‘energy vampire’. I think my ex was one actually. We were so mismatched on energy levels and I was always trying to stay high energy to perk him up, then feeling deflated as i’d spent my energy trying to make someone else happy. Lesson learned – we’ve got to protect number one first!

    I’ve had a big life change recently and decided to quit my job #greatresignation. I was feeling so overwhelmed in personal and work life and could feel myself getting anxious, so decided to take some time out of work to get myself back on track and work out my priorities. It’s scary but exciting and it frees me up to find my passion and maybe try some new hobbies! I gave acro yoga a try the other day and loved it. Have you ever tried it?

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