Hi @sparklingjedi,
Sounds like there’s been a lot going on for you health wise lately- and thanks for posting your situation despite your embarrassment.
Recovery from a hysterectomy involves more than the physical recovery. It can take time to emotionally and mentally adjust to the loss of your uterus and the ability to have a child (even at age 53).
Post-hysterectomy it is common for people to have concerns about femininity and sexuality.
Hysterectomy is not thought to have a negative effect on sexual function with some people finding sexual function gets better.
You can find out more about outcomes of Hysterectomy here.
The other change that has occurred for you is Menopause.
Menopause can occur naturally or can be caused by surgery. Menopause means that your ovaries are no longer releasing any eggs and there are no more periods. Menopause is often a time when you can begin to experience vaginal changes and mood swings. You can find out about how to manage and treat symptoms of menopause here.
Finally, the mid-life years can be a time of great change for people.
It can be a time of a range of emotions. It can be a time where we reflect on our life so far. We may also experience new feelings and or questions about our sexuality and identity as part of that process.
You can find more information about gender identity here.
Its a good idea to talk with your doctor about your experiences of depression- there a ways to resolve it that include talk therapy and medication. Take care.