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Home Forums Sex & Relationships Single on Valentine’s Day

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  • #106552
    teatea
    Moderator

    So it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single for the first time in….8 years? 

    Capitalism thrives off of couples at this time of the year. Every time I go to the shopping centre in February I’m flooded with goofy heart-shaped merchandise aimed at pleasing your loved one, for this *one* day out of 365. Don’t get me wrong I don’t hate Valentine’s Day, I think it’s great to celebrate how much you love someone! It just feels so isolating when you’re not in a relationship around this time.

    I really wish we celebrated more types of love around this time of year (and year-round really), loving your family or friends is just as important as loving a partner. This year I’ve been seeing a lot of people celebrate this as ‘Galentine’s Day’, a celebration of friendship (two gals who are quite literally pals, for instance). Which I am LOVING!!! Idk, I just, what do you do when you find yourself single on Valentine’s Day?

    I’m going to be practising self-care and telling all my friends and family how much they mean to me. Like a love Christmas. I’d love to hear what everyone else does in this situation. Do you find it difficult? What tips do you have for getting through the day? 

    Relationship Tips & Advice | Self-Care Tips  

    #112492
    teatea
    Moderator

    Also here’s a really great video one of my fave YouTuber’s made about the same topic!! 

    #112493
    MintMilanoMintMilano
    Moderator

    This is my first Valentines Day with my current boyfriend, but he’s away for work, so I’m just going to make dinner for us tomorrow night when he gets home. Which is something I do pretty much every week so it’s not that different. I’m very into the idea of showing your love on the daily, not just one day a year, so I don’t like to treat it too differently (although I did get him a present). 
     
    I was also single for a good number of years on Valentines Day, except this and last year. And while I’m all for expressing love of all forms with all our loved ones, I dunno, if I’m single then I just treat the day like a bit of a non-issue. I leave it to the couples to celebrate being in a couple, and I would go out and do all the things that I loved about being single. Tonight I’m having dinner with a girlfriend of mine because both our boyfriends have work, but I’m not even thinking of it as a Valentines Day replacement. Just a standard night out with one of my friends. 

    #112494
    HappyHooHah
    Participant

    I’m currently living with my ex-boyfriend so not excited about today either 🙁
    There’s a bar in America doing an Anti-Valentines day thing… it involves cocktails such as NO sex on the beach… thought that was a laugh. 

    #112495
    teatea
    Moderator

    @MintMilano I love that sentiment of treating the day like a normal one though! 

    @HappyHooHah Ah I can definitely relate, I’m living with my ex-girlfriend at the moment and she has a new partner so it’s a bit…disheartening for me? Like I don’t mind that they have a new person or anything but it still makes me sad, or rather nostalgic for past relationships? 

    NO SEX ON THE BEACH!!! 😆 I love that!!

    #112496
    ekoorb9
    Keymaster

    I’m single this Valentine’s Day too but never celebrate it anyway. It just feels too false!

    I remember I told one Ex that I didn’t want to do Valentines Day, and he did anyway. The whole flowers and chocolate thing. 

    I was actually quite annoyed by it!!

    But maybe that’s just me  😀 😀 😀

    #112497
    PurplePurple
    Moderator

    @tea I 100% agree that platonic love is just as important as romantic love, and that it should be celebrated. I did Galentines Day too with a recently single girlfriend and it was so much fun! 

    I find it annoying too @ekoorb9. I’m ‘seeing’ someone (still early days) and was still technically single yesterday. I think it’s nice to receive flowers and chocolates generally but when it’s on Valentines Day it seems kind of… forced? I find the use of social media by certain couples SO annoying on V day, and that there’s a fine line between “I’m really happy in my relationship” and “Let me show off my relationship/prove how great my partner is to everyone”. My friend made this status yesterday “Happy commodification of personal relationships that must be made public in order to be validated by general society Day” and I couldn’t have said it better!

    #112498
    MintMilanoMintMilano
    Moderator

    @Purple  I do agree that it can feel a bit forced sometimes – like I’d rather receive flowers on any random Wednesday because there’s a little more thought and less prompt from a calendar date – but I’ll also never understand the hate that some people have towards Valentines Day. A lot of people don’t care for it and don’t do it, and that’s totally fine, but when people start raging about it they just seem a bit sad and bitter, in my opinion. If people wanna do lame lovey dovey stuff then who is anyone else to say they shouldn’t or that it doesn’t mean as much?

    #112499
    peachy
    Participant

    @tea I’ve been single for all but two Valentine’s Days over my lifetime – weirdly enough my relationships tend to end just before summer starts! I usually spend the day with another single friend and then get right into the post-Valentines discounted chocolates the next day ahaha 

    #121111
    teatea
    Moderator

    Valentine’s Day is coming up guys!! This year I’m not single but I don’t think I’ll be making a celebration out of it? Maybe I will, but outrageously obnoxiously and over-the-top so it’ll be funny more than romantic. I tell and show my partner every day how much I love them so I don’t think I really need to do that on a holiday. I think she’ll appreciate the humour but I’ll let you know how things go hahah

    What are your plans this Valentine’s Day? Do you have any?

    #121123
    EarthMamaEarthMama
    Moderator

    @tea I read the very first post of this thread and had so much to say about the topic of being single, but not much in relation to your new comment :P.
    I think it’s lovely that you show your partner love each day, but I think there is something oddly endearing about the whole hearts and flowers display. Even when we laugh about it, there’s something in it. I think it could be rooted in our desire to have socially recognised love, kind of like marriage for some people. It can feel all very well to love your friends and family, but there’s something about romantic love…it’s just more validated by society- and I think Valentine’s day is just a reminder of that.
    I wish societal validation didn’t feel quite so good, and the absence of it- quite so devastating.
    What are your thoughts?

    #121128
    Aunt_FloAunt_Flo
    Moderator

    I completely agree @tea that we could definitely use Valentine’s Day as a way to express platonic or family love. I don’t think it has to always be romantic.

    I’m personally not really one for anti-Valentine’s Day things. There’s nothing wrong with people celebrating love for the day, plus if you’re celebrating anti-Valentines’s you’re still spending money on it.

    I’ll be away for the actual day, so my boyfriend and I are just going to go out for a drink when I get back. We don’t really care too much about Valentine’s Day, we usually just use it as a reminder that we haven’t gone out in a while, may as well do it on Valentine’s Day.

    I do love cards though, so we do always exchange cards

    #121137
    teatea
    Moderator

    @earthmama Yeah it is kind of nice being made a show of things I guess, in relation to Valentine’s Day. Shovel huge amounts of flowers onto my bed! Sing me a song underneath the moonlight on guitar (but please no wonderwall)!

    @aunt_flo I’m a big sucker for cards too! Especially the cheesier ones!

    #121140
    teatea
    Moderator

    Found this interesting article on the origins of Valentine’s Day if anyone’s interested! I’d never actually thought to look into why it is we celebrate the day, so I looked it up and it’s,,,origins are kind of morbid?

    “Every year between February 13 and February 15, the Romans engaged in celebrations and rituals to honour the coming of spring. One of these rituals involved sacrificing a dog or a goat and using its skin to whip women, an act that was believed to increase their fertility.” Excuse me???

    Anyway, the article makes a good point of commercialism and romanticism regarding the holiday.

    #121170
    curiousss
    Moderator

    I always find valentines day so cheesy and awkward haha!
    When i’m single i sort of feel lonely or left out seeing all the other couples all loved up and when I’ve been in a relationship i feel silly and pressured to celebrate my relationship and be extra lovely on this day which seems artificial and forced.

    My plans will be to go to a live gig with a mate and ignore the whole day in general and stay off social media haha!

    I love the idea of Galentinmes day hahaha!

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