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Trigger Warning – This post is about Stealthing – if you’re sensitive to discussions of sexual assault or rape it will be discussing that.
Did anyone else see the thing on Hack about Stealthing? Basically it’s where two people have agreed to consensual sex using a condom and during the intercourse one party removes the condom without the others knowledge. I mentioned it in another thread but through it might be worth giving it’s own thread if it’s really something people are doing. I just read this article on the Guardian and couldn’t agree more. It sounds like a bit of a media blow up and I really hope it isn’t as prevalent as it’s made out to be but this is where I stand on it.
How does everyone else feel about it?
The words I want to use @CloakOfAsh won’t get past the profanity filters.
If having unprotected (consensual) sex if you have and STI can result in charges of assault, grievous bodily harm or attempted murder…. I think the same logic should apply here (whether you know you’re infected or not).
Needless to say, if I find out any man I know is involved in this practice… they won’t be for much longer.
Completely agree with you @CloakOfAsh. It’s totally abhorrent and violates consent big time. I’m very concerned that there seem to be conflicted thoughts from police and lawyers about whether or not it constitutes something like assault that is punishable. I hope we move away from, like you said, acting like it’s a ~thing~ and instead acting like and calling it sexual assault.
I can’t believe there are people out there that think this is fun. 🙁
Good point about giving it a “cool” name and making it sound like it’s a thing that people should try. It’s not. If you consent to protected sex and the other person removes the protection, they also remove the consent. It’s not funny, it’s not cheeky – it’s assault and there should be legal punishment for it.
So it seems we moderator types might have left a few of you behind with this conversation. For sure if you are new to the idea of having sex, stealthing can be a concept too far.
But as you’re all venturing out into the world of sex, it is a thing you need to be aware of. There are many elements to consent, and agreement over whether you will be using condoms is one of them.
Personally, I encourage everyone, before you engage in anything, be a little brave and have the conversation. Make yourself clear, and make the agreement between you and your partner clear. If it isn’t clear, maybe it’s time to change the subject (I hear Netflix is a good distraction).
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