Unrealistic relationship expectations brought on by sex…

[MsBlueStreak]

So we’ve all been there I’m sure… that moment when casual sex started to mean more than it should, and feelings start entering the equation.

Over in Busted I talked about a university friend who slept with all six of his female housemates, and the thing that seemed to get them all – despite knowing that he was only ever after casual sex, and often had more than one woman at a time – was that he slept with all of them, and none of them was special.

I will confess to having fallen into this trap at least once myself, when having casual sex with my BFF’s housemate. Thankfully I quickly got over it – which was certainly helped along by the fact that I understood what he was like, and I didn’t live in the same town (so it was only ever going to be holiday sex).

Who else wants to share their tales?

[NickiPower]

Good topic @MsBlueStreak! 

I didn’t have unrealistic expectations but had to deal with a previous casual partner of a then current casual partner (confused yet :wink:) who had the unrealistic expectations. It was a bit awkward when she kept trying to “win him back”.. 

[MsBlueStreak]

I get what you mean @NickiPower, in former casual partners mind, you were the other woman/man/neither to beaten for your casual partners affections.

I’m lucky that I never had that issue at the time (it really was a long time ago). But the casual hookup (lets call him P) being my a long-term friend of my BFF of over two decades… he’s still around in my life, and his highly jealous wife is actually someone I’d consider a friend.

She’s often concerned that BBF and P have a sexual history. (Wife actually met P because they were both friends of BFF from different circles)  She’s never looked twice in my direction, so I figured he’s not for the disclosing his list and I’m not ratting P out.

My partner knows, and knows him, and couldn’t give a rats. (Apparently he doesn’t have jealous bones)

[NickiPower]

Yeah, that’s a difficult one @MsBlueStreak, but also what’s in the past is in the past right? 

[ElleBelle]

[mak_trouble891]

So I was in a casual relationship with a guy some years back with the knowledge that its wasn’t going to go anywhere and was just for fun. However as much as I tried I did develop and ‘catch’ feelings
knowing that it was to never go anywhere, I had to end the ‘relationship’ to stop myself from getting hurt. To be honest it took a while for me to be honest with my feelings to acknowledge that I needed to end things  

[MsBlueStreak]

Good for you @mak_trouble891 figuring out how you were feeling and dealing with it before you got hurt.

[CloakOfAsh]

Yeah I know that feeling all too well! I was in a relationship with a girl who was lovely, smart, extremely attractive and driven but we never really got that spark that made it last. At about 9mnths we had the following text exchange;

Her: Hey should I come over your place after work?
Me: Yeah for sure
Her: We should probably chat about us when I get there
Me: Ah yeah, I know what you mean, think we are on same page.. do we need to chat?
Her: Nah – see you around.

SUCH a great breakup! I wish they all went like that – mutual, no feelings hurt and onwards.

[Kit]

WOW @CloakOfAsh. Just WOW!

That is both brutal and awesome. What a perfect, clean ending. Teach me your ways! Lol

[CloakOfAsh]

@Kit That was definitely a once off. Normally I am the dumpee and spiral pretty bad. Definitely ~in touch with my emotions~ haha

[NickiPower]

@mak_trouble891 I’ve totally been there too! So high-five for ending it before it goes really awkward! 

@CloakOfAsh – that’s an awesome breakup! 

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