So we’ve all been there I’m sure… that moment when casual sex started to mean more than it should, and feelings start entering the equation.
Over in Busted I talked about a university friend who slept with all six of his female housemates, and the thing that seemed to get them all – despite knowing that he was only ever after casual sex, and often had more than one woman at a time – was that he slept with all of them, and none of them was special.
I will confess to having fallen into this trap at least once myself, when having casual sex with my BFF’s housemate. Thankfully I quickly got over it – which was certainly helped along by the fact that I understood what he was like, and I didn’t live in the same town (so it was only ever going to be holiday sex).
I didn’t have unrealistic expectations but had to deal with a previous casual partner of a then current casual partner (confused yet :wink:) who had the unrealistic expectations. It was a bit awkward when she kept trying to “win him back”..
I get what you mean @NickiPower, in former casual partners mind, you were the other woman/man/neither to beaten for your casual partners affections.
I’m lucky that I never had that issue at the time (it really was a long time ago). But the casual hookup (lets call him P) being my a long-term friend of my BFF of over two decades… he’s still around in my life, and his highly jealous wife is actually someone I’d consider a friend.
She’s often concerned that BBF and P have a sexual history. (Wife actually met P because they were both friends of BFF from different circles) She’s never looked twice in my direction, so I figured he’s not for the disclosing his list and I’m not ratting P out.
My partner knows, and knows him, and couldn’t give a rats. (Apparently he doesn’t have jealous bones)
So I was in a casual relationship with a guy some years back with the knowledge that its wasn’t going to go anywhere and was just for fun. However as much as I tried I did develop and ‘catch’ feelings knowing that it was to never go anywhere, I had to end the ‘relationship’ to stop myself from getting hurt. To be honest it took a while for me to be honest with my feelings to acknowledge that I needed to end things
Yeah I know that feeling all too well! I was in a relationship with a girl who was lovely, smart, extremely attractive and driven but we never really got that spark that made it last. At about 9mnths we had the following text exchange;
Her: Hey should I come over your place after work? Me: Yeah for sure Her: We should probably chat about us when I get there Me: Ah yeah, I know what you mean, think we are on same page.. do we need to chat? Her: Nah – see you around.
SUCH a great breakup! I wish they all went like that – mutual, no feelings hurt and onwards.