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Home Forums Sexual Health What do normal labia look like?

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by tea tea 7 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #121331
    Aunt_Flo
    Aunt_Flo
    Moderator

    We’ve sort of touched on this topic before, but I recently read an article that went through websites that offer labiaplasty to women.

    https://theconversation.com/what-do-normal-labia-look-like-sometimes-doctors-are-the-wrong-people-to-ask-112513

    I found it unsettling that the websites used words like ‘neat’ and ‘tidy’ to describe the ideal labia.

    What do you guys make of the article? How can we change the lanaguage surrounding vulvas and labias to reposition your ‘everyday’ labia as normal, not undesirable?

    #121334
    Purple
    Purple
    Moderator

    Thanks for the article, wow this article was really shocking to me. These websites seem to really tap into the insecurities of people with labias/clitorises. “The truth is that relationships, exercise, even dressing can be negatively impacted by a large inner or outer labia” – not sure how any of those could possibly be impacted but okay! I remember seeing when I was younger I think it was a blog where people submitted photos of their labia and there were like 200 uploads of all the different shapes and sizes there could be and people would write in and say that the website stopped them from getting surgery. I think it’s so important to just start a conversation where it’s just seen as common knowledge/okay for a labia to be whatever colour, size, shape or whatever and it’s still normal. I also think steering the conversation away from what is ‘desirable’ or not to a sexual partner is really important, I feel like a lot of people would get surgery because they think it will make them more desirable to a partner. So even shifting the conversation away from labia = must be sexy, desirable, pleasurable to your partner to labia = normal not matter what, totally perfect in whatever way it is, would be a great goal!

    #121338
    tea
    tea
    Moderator

    It’s really shocking that articles still use that kind of language surrounding our bodies! ‘Neat and tidy’ is definitely not how I would describe my labia. I have friends who kind of make derogatory comments sometimes and use labia as a precursor, so things like ‘fanny flaps’ will be used as an insult. Well, that’s me, I have a very not neat and tidy labia but I’m okay with that and wouldn’t change it.

    I think having a partner who says they like how I look there makes a huge difference though! Positive language = positive feelings!

    Totally agree with shifting the dynamic of language use @purple, need more sexy labias out there!

    #121341
    Aunt_Flo
    Aunt_Flo
    Moderator

    Good point @purple – so much of the conversation in the websites is about what other people will think, and very little about what the actual person with the labia thinks. I agree that repositioning the labia away from the sexual sphere is a good base for building up confidence in people who are considering surgery.

    I’ve seen that website with the labia photos as well and it honestly helped me realise just how normal my labia was as well. There’s a similar one that show just how different the same bra size looks on different women and that was so refreshing to see as well.

    We just don’t see what ‘normal’ actually looks like as often as we might need to!

    #121997
    tea
    tea
    Moderator

    Totally agree about not seeing the ‘normal’ as much as we need to @aunt_flo! I guess if a range of genitalia were shown during sex ed at school that might help the stigma a little? Something that’s not so self-seeking like an art exhibition anyway.

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