The fun stuff
NSW Government

I don’t feel sexually attracted to anyone. What’s wrong with me?

Nothing! Some people are attracted to boys, some to girls, and some to both and/or other genders. But some people just don’t feel sexual attraction, and that’s fine! We call ourselves asexuals.

Asexual or not, the important question is whether you want to have sex; you’re also very much allowed to change your mind.

But what if I still want a relationship?

Go for it! Some asexuals have romantic attractions, which leads to wanting romantic activities, like holding hands, going on dates and possibly long term companionship. Not all relationships have to be sexual!

Some of us are romantically attracted to boys, some to girls, or to other genders, or maybe to all genders. It’s all good! You can identify as heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic… the whole deal.

And what if I don’t ever feel romantic attraction?

That’s cool too. Some people don’t feel attracted in a romantic way to others, and they sometimes call themselves aromantic. You can be perfectly happy without a sexual or romantic partner.

Can I still be asexual if I’ve had sex? What if I masturbate, or watch porn? Can asexuals get turned on?

Yes, yes and yes! Some asexuals have sex, despite not experiencing sexual attraction. Some have sex for their partners, some have sex to have children, some because they want to see what it’s like. Some masturbate to ease libido or relax.

So… I think I might be asexual. What now?

If you’re thinking that asexual might describe you, why not come on over and visit the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (asexuality.org)? There’s an FAQ, and even a forum to chat with other asexuals and allies. We’re here for you, and anyone, asexual or not, is welcome!

Author: Justine Munich, Asexuality Visibility and Education Network.