Tagged: sexting; consent; texting
There are some great tips about sending sexy photos in this thread about sexting. But, I wanted to talk about the written content of messages, specifically asking for consent and making sure everyone’s comfortable (+ share some of my go-to’s – you’re welcome).
First up- How to Initiate
“Hey, I’ve loved texting with you so far – I know we haven’t met in person yet but you’re really turning me on to talk to”
*wait for a response, if it sounds positive and their feelings match yours, continue*
“Can I say what I’d want to do to you if we were together?”
Option 2) “Hey lovely! I can’t stop thinking about you, is now a good time for me to send you some naughty texts?”
Option 3) “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you a lot – you’re super hot. Would you be interested in sexting with me?”
Option 4) “Hey you, I had a super hot dram about you last night and it has got me feeling lots of feelings. Can I send you some sexy texts please?”
Option 5) “Just had a shower. I spent the whole time thinking about you. Can I send you a NSFW picture?”
I’d love to know anyone else’s favourite ways to initiate! Here are my go-to’s for declining and asking for consent:
How to raincheck
“I want that so badly but unfortunately now’s not a great time (ugh). Can we do this another time? I really want this.”
How to decline if it’s not your thing
“Thank you so much for asking! Sexting isn’t really my thing but I’d really like to take you out on a date next week?”
How to decline if you’re not interested
“I am flattered! This is hard to say but I am actually not interested in pursuing this right now. You seem great but I don’t want to lead you on. I hope you find someone you’re super excited about!”
How to ask for consent
“Oh no! My friend was holding my phone and saw that! I really would love to receive these in the future but to protect our privacy it would be great if you asked before sending! I don’t mean to embarrass you – just wanted to check in a bout that (but omg you are soo hot).
“I’m so sorry! I was too excited to show/tell you. Going forward I will always ask before sending. Let me make it up to you later tonight?”
What are your thoughts around kindly declining?
Sometimes I need a specific reaction from my partner, here’s how I ask:
How to ask for what you need
“Hiiiii! I really want to send you an amazing nude I just took. I’d love to send it to you but I would need some extra love and compliments if that’s okay?
“Oh my gosh!! Did you know that telling you how absolutely stunning you are is one of my favourite things to do? I’m so glad you asked! Are there certain words or ways you like to be praised? I can think of a lot but I want to make sure you feel extra good”
“I’m just feeling a bit self-conscious about my body today.. is that helpful?”
“I ADORE your body, it’s perfect in every way. Please send if you want to – I can’t wait to see it!”
“I am speechless!! You are so hot. I can’t even express how beautiful your body is WOW. Thank you for sending that! My day is a million times better”.
How to ask about names for body parts
“I want to talk about touching you but I want to make sure I use the right words. Anything in particular you like?”
Sexting can be really daunting, I find getting into the flow of it eases my nerves the most- otherwise I just spin out by overthinking the whole thing. How do you get around the awkwardness?
How to get over nerves
“That picture you just posted… are you kidding?! You look so freaking good. So hot, omg.”
“Thank you!! Honestly I was thinking of you when I posted it.. it turns me on that you like how I look. I want to turn you on in return.”
“Ugh, that’s so hot. I feel so silly when I try and talk dirty I really want it but I feel so awkward!”
“I totally get it! Sexting is such an awkward thing sometimes. Buutttt I will say you don’t seem silly or awkward, you seem hot as hell.”
“Can you tell me something you want to do to me? That will help me get in the mood.”
Sorry for bombarding! I know that when I was first starting out with sexting (which is one of my favourite past times now) I scrolled endlessly through the internet trying to find some inspiration – everything was just so corny.
So now that I have my own little reference list, I feel like I owe it to my past self to share it to the world!
My big tips are just be kind and be yourself. You don’t need to be a sexy persona of yourself – just be you!
I’d love to know if anyone else has any go-to’s or hacks when it comes to sexting!!
This is such a great post! I could definitely use some of these tips because I always find it so awkward when sexting! I haven’t done it in a long time though.
I think it’s really important to ask for consent first and asking if it’s a good time, nothing worse than when someone randomly sends you a nude pic and you’re not expecting it and open around other people! Even asking what terms to use for each others body parts is a really important thing that I think can get overlooked sometimes.