What if my partner won’t wear a condom?

[PotPlant]

I had this experience the other night where I had to really convince my sexual partner to wear a condom.

He started going on and on about how it was uncomfortable and too tight, and this and that. I had to repeatedly ask (3 times) before he reluctantly did it. After that we got on with it and it was fine…

But I’m wondering. What do you do if your partner won’t wear a condom? Has something like this ever happened to you? Do you have any advice or tactics for dealing with the situation?

[GoldenRose]

This unfortunately happens so much! It honestly kind of puts me off a bit when I have to practically beg for them to put one on.

I’ll link a similar thread below but there was some really great points raised in it which have really stuck with me. Basically just try and not leave room for the other person to say no to wearing a condom, for example saying you won’t be having sex unless you use a condom.

Asking someone to wear a condom… how do you do it?!

[piperr42]

Hey @potplant, this is definitely a complicated situation, thanks for being comfortable to share it!

I feel like this always happens to me when I am having sex for the first time with a new partner. It’s definitely tricky to manage, and ideally, you would want to have the conversation before you are in the bedroom so you can avoid it altogether!

I don’t think there is one right answer, what I usually do is try and stay adamant about them wearing the condom, or we won’t have sex, which can sometimes be awkward. My best tip would be to try and be open about using condoms and letting your partner know that you will always use one when having sex.

Thanks @goldenrose for linking that other thread! I am interested in hearing some other stories about this too!

[-_-]

Hey @potplant, I hate it when this happens! I recently had a similar experience where they were annoyed that I wanted to use one and I had to keep repeating myself. I felt like it just took all the passion and excitement out of the situation while I tried to convince him to do it. I totally agree with you @goldenrose, it’s really off putting!

Thanks for sharing that thread with some more info!

[champagnepapi]

Hey @potplant, any updates on the condom situation? Were you able to reach a resolution with your partner?

[PotPlant]

@champagnepapi @yogigirl

Hi everyone, thanks all so much for your ideas and thanks particularly @goldenrose for linking that other thread.

@champagnepapi

We ended up just not having sex because I didn’t want to do it without a condom! Unfortunately this happens sometimes but I honestly wasn’t even in the mood anymore because of it. It’s good to say no and set boundaries.

[-_-]

Hey @potplant, proud of you for sticking to your morals and saying no. We need to set those boundaries and honour what feels right.

Did you see them again after that or did that put you off completely?

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