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  • #106438
    Kit
    Participant
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    Flirting – that’s basically it.
    I just wanted to start a discussion because sometimes I think I’m crap at picking up signals but others maybe ok at sending them. Do you have a particular way that you pick up on signals or guide a conversation? I want to hear your flirting success (or failure) stories.

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    #111135
    CloakOfAsh
    Participant
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    I have been in a long term set-up for a fair while but people constantly think we are both flirting with them/others. I think we are just chatty and friendly. 

    My take on flirting was always being nice and occasionally dropping slightly obvious hints – is there more to it?

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    #111136
    walk_on_walls
    Participant
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    A book once told me if their hips are oriented towards you, they are interested. So if they’re talking to someone, say, on their left, but their hips are facing you…green light!

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    #111137
    CloakOfAsh
    Participant
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    Wouldnt you always have hips facing if talking face on? The groyne pointed could be a way of looking at it lol!

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    #111138
    walk_on_walls
    Participant
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    I’ve been surprised how often people aren’t square on when talking to another person. Especially true when in groups, e.g. three people standing having a conversation.

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    #111139
    MsBlueStreak
    Participant
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    I really don’t understand flirting at all… by some of the measures of what behaviour equals flirting, I spend most of my life flirting with every friend I have (because if I count you as one of my few friends then I’m probably going to be open and caring with you).  
    I’ve never understood signals, and prefer straight up bluntly being spoken to.

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    #111140
    ElleBelle
    Participant
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    I have long hair and I play with it a lot when I’m bored or trying to concentrate – classic fidgeter. However I think tworling your hair is seen as a classic flirting move, in which case most people I’ve ever met probably think I’m flirting with them.

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    #111141
    Kit
    Participant
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    @CloakOfAsh Lol I guess the ‘slightly obvious hints’ is what I’m talking about. What seems like a slightly obvious hint to me may not work for the recipient, or you, or literally anyone else because what is a hint? I’m a hair twirler like @ElleBelle but I have on one occasion attempted to purposefully use hair fluffing to flirt (successful) but then I’m also an arm toucher which is commonly described as flirting too.
    @walk_on_walls I’ve also read a similar thing but it specifically mentioned the direction of the feet rather than just hips, in case, you know, you’re talking to a cowboy or something :p

    So maybe the question should be what is flirting to you? What did your last partner/hookup do that gave you a ‘signal’ and what did you last do to give one? Discuss :relaxed:

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    #111142
    Aunt_FloAunt_Flo
    Moderator
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    I’m often accused of flirting with people – I think it’s because I can be bubbly and friendly and like @Kit I lunge at people’s arms when I’m excited. I don’t think I’m any good at picking up signals – I think I need to be explicitly told! My partner made very obvious comments about how I was dressed, my appearance, personality etc. That worked for me and I knew it was flirting because it was so obvious.

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    #111143
    MsBlueStreak
    Participant
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    @kit – I like your change of question.

    Answering the second part, ‘what did you last do’, the answer is I kissed him (and he’s still around 13+ years later). We were already really close friends, and I’m not good at flirting so…

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    #111144
    ElleBelle
    Participant
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    Finding an excuse to touch my arm/back/shoulder is usually a clear signal for me, although some people are just naturally touchy-feely so again it’s kinda tricky! Making a “joke” about kissing or dating is also a good one.

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    #111145
    mak_trouble891
    Participant
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    I think flirting is an interesting one especially now with all the different types of social media and online dating. I know for me when I first started talking to my partner online I was much more open and forward o to speak with my flirting then I was when I was with him in person. Does anyone else find a difference between flirting in person and online? What do you find easier or prefer?
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    #111146
    ElleBelle
    Participant
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    YES! I think I’m so much braver flirting online @mak_trouble891 – plus they can’t see my face if it doesn’t go down well!

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    #111147
    Kit
    Participant
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    Oh, so true @mak_trouble891!
    I like that obvious is key for a lot of people – it certainly takes the pressure off thinking there’s a right and wrong way to go about it!

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    #111148
    mak_trouble891
    Participant
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    I totally agree @ElleBelle and @Kit, the pressure is definitely off and if it goes wrong there’s a screen to hide behind.

    What about  using Emojis to flirt? I know for me I have used 😉 <3 >:) :* among others, but what else have people used to flirt and get their point across without typing it? 

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