What do I do if I DON’T want to have sex?

[tea]

I know consent is really important when having sex and making sure everyone is feeling safe is important! (Also consent isn’t linear and can be withdrawn at any time!!) But what happens if I don’t want to have sex? What do I do?

Let’s say I’ve started having sex and don’t feel like it anymore or maybe I don’t want to have it in the first place. So then I verbalise that okay this is a thing I do not want to do. Now what? Do we cuddle? Do I go home?

We talk about the importance of consent so often, which is so so soooo great! But what about after someone says no? I think if you’re in a partnership it would be easier to navigate what you want to do. But if someone is having sex for the first time and wants to stop it might get a little awkward? Does anyone have any tips for if this happens?

I think it’s also super important to highlight that not everybody wants to have sex, like, ever! And that’s totally okay too! You might be asexual if this is the case, which exists on a spectrum and can involve a lack of sexual interest! There’s still a ton of ways you can be intimate with your partner without having sex. Cuddling, watching a movie, giving each other compliments! Does anyone have more ideas?

What do I do if I don’t want sex? What have you done? Has it ever been awkward? What are your tips on being intimate without engaging in sexual activity?

How do you give ‘enthusiatic’ consent? | Is consent during sex really that important? | Consent – more than just physical?

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