The fun stuff
NSW Government

Let’s talk about the big O – Orgasms!

What is an orgasm?

Having an orgasm or “coming” is what happens when you hit your sexual climax.

It’s an intense feeling of pleasure in your genitals, along with a big sensation of release.

If you have a penis, an orgasm is pretty obvious because you ejaculate – semen is released out of your urethra.

If you have a vagina it’s a little less obvious, but you’ll know when it happens – the muscles in the vagina, anus and uterus repeatedly contract and relax.

How do I have an orgasm?

The number one way to try and have your first orgasm is with your hand. Masturbation is a totally healthy part of life, and it’s how we learn what feels good – explore your body!

People with vaginas often need to stimulate their clitoris (that’s the little bump nestled in the top of the labia) in order to have an orgasm – both solo and during sex with a partner. In fact, most women are unable to come just from penetration. So the clitoris is super important!

My top masturbation tips: it’s easier to have an orgasm when you’re relaxed, and a little lube certainly helps!

What if I can have an orgasm by myself, but not during sex with a partner?

Having an orgasm can be as much about what’s going on inside your head as what’s happening to your body. So even if sex feels amazing, it can be hard to let your mind go to reach that climax. Sometimes it can take a while of getting used to a partner to be able to orgasm.

Try to create a relaxing vibe in the room, be patient, enjoy lots of foreplay, and ask your partner to stimulate the parts of your body you touch when you masturbate – or touch them yourself!

It’s important to remember that orgasms aren’t the be-all and end-all of sex. Sex isn’t about reaching an orgasm, it’s about connecting and having fun. Safely, of course!

If you want to know more you can ring 1800 451 624 between 9:00am and 5:30pm Monday to Friday to talk with a sexual health nurse. It’s confidential and free if you call from a landline.

 

Play Safe!

 

Nurse Nettie.

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