Premature ejaculation (PE) is one of the biggest worries I hear about it, but it’s rarely medical issue. So what is it? PE is just a fancy way of describing the frustrating experience of ejaculating or ‘cumming’ too quickly. Despite what you may see in porn, most people with a penis will ejaculate in around five minutes of penetration. What does ‘too quickly’ mean then? PE is usually defined as ejaculating in less than a minute and feeling unhappy about it (if it’s not a problem for you & your partner, it’s not actually a problem).
PE is really common for young people. As you get older the time to orgasm often gets longer. As you get more sexually experienced you may also get better at controlling it. PE can also be related to anxiety. For example, when you’re new to sex or starting a new relationship, many people will feel anxious about sexually impressing a partner. Previous bad experiences with sex can also cause a loss in confidence or create some insecurity. All of these stresses can make PE more likely.
What can you do about PE?
- Use condoms. Yes, condoms prevent STIs, unwanted pregnancies, and can even help with PE!
- Talk to your partner. Sex always works best with good communication. Building trust and understanding can ease performance anxiety.
- More orgasms! After one orgasm, it’s normal for the next one to take a little longer. If you know you’re going to have sex later, masturbating ahead of time may help you last longer.
- Practice the ‘Start-Stop’ technique to get better control. This means masturbating until you feel you’re just about to ejaculate, then stop, wait for your erection to soften a little, and then start again. Repeat this process a few times before reaching orgasm.
- Increase your game. Sex isn’t only about penetration or even erections! Spend some time experimenting with other ways to get and give sexual pleasure before penetration, or even after you ejaculate.
- When in doubt, visit a doctor. Your GP can assess whether there are any medical or more complex mental health issues contributing to your experience.
