Does anyone else find it hard to reach orgasm when having sex with a casual partner or someone they don’t know that well yet?
It takes me a while to warm up to people and feel comfortable around them and I guess the same goes for sexual partners and I guess I have certain fears or insecurities around being really intimate with someone… like what if I make a really weird face? What if I sound really weird?
I know these are all just little things that are probably all just in my head and my sexual partner probably isn’t even thinking these things but does anyone have any tips when it comes to this? Is there anything you do or say to make you or your partner feel more comfortable?
I am always worried about farting during sex as I have some IBS so if I am really bloated I just feel gross and that can put me off too. I also worry about ‘getting wet’
I think that some deep belly breathing helps relax me just before hand and I also sneak into the bathroom before I know we are going to get naked and apply a little lube so I have one less stress about that. If I knew I was seeing my casual partner later in the evening I would try to avoid foods that made me bloaty etc so just stress minimisation.
The old talking about what turns you on helps as well so saying things like ‘it feels really good when you do this and then this’. Also if you can (I can’t cos I am super awkward) be honest and say ‘ hey I really want to cum but I find it difficult because I don’t know you super well and maybe we can talk about some things to relax me / get me in the mood’