@HoneyPot it’s so upsetting being rejected! I’m not usually the one to initiate in my relationship but I do on occasion and there was once or twice when my partner said no and I felt so bad! I also reflected on how my partner must feel when I say I’m not in the mood. Because when I was turned down, it was such a blow to my self-esteem 🙁 I wondered if my partner was still attracted to me and it also made me self-conscious about whether I was being too demanding.
@mak_trouble891 I agree that lots of sex or lack of sex is ok as long as both parties are on the same page. It does get more complicated when you and your partner have mismatched libidos though. For me, it was actually a big issue in my relationship at first. My partner was often upset because I wasn’t keen on sex and when we had a proper discussion about it, he explained that for him, sex is an emotional connection, not just a physical one. So for him, the more I was disinterested in sex, the more he felt a lack of connection. And he also raised his worries that I was no longer attracted to him. I explained to him that I show that I’m attracted to him in different ways and I told him how I do. And we talked about ways we could connect more emotionally without necessarily having sex. It’s been pretty smooth sailing since – communication is key!!