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[Anonymous]

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[ElleBelle]

Hi @curious, thanks for being brave and starting this discussion. I think a lot of people are in the same boat and are too shy to ask, but everyone has to learn somehow!

Here is some info on oral sex. You may have heard some of the common words for oral sex – blowjob, giving head, going down on someone, eating out. It can be used as foreplay in the lead up to penetrative sex, or just on it’s own for pleasure. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, try a few different things with your mouth and tongue and communicate with your partner about what feels good for them and comfortable for you.

We also have some info on anal sex. If you do choose do have anal sex, it’s important to relax, go slow and use lots of lubricant or it can feel uncomfortable and even painful. The anus doesn’t produce it’s own lubricant for sex like the vagina, it needs a bit of help.

It’s really important that you are comfortable communicating with your partner, even if that feels a bit embarrassing at times. If there is something you don’t want to do, it’s ok to say no. It’s not a race, so take it slowly and try a few things – talk about what feels good and what doesn’t. You should also talk to him about protection and who will be responsible for buying condoms. If you are both virgins the risk of STIs is low, but pregnancy is still a factor and it’s just good practice to start using them every time you have sexual contact. We’ve got lots of info on where to buy them and how to put them on here.

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[Aunt_Flo]

Hey @curious! It’s great that you’re comfortable communicating with your partner. With regards to not liking the idea of your boyfriend performing oral sex on you – that’s fine! Not everyone enjoys it.

Having sex, and doing sexual things can be nerve wracking the first time. It’s important – like @ElleBelle said – to communicate, relax and find out what you both enjoy. 🙂

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[CloakOfAsh]

Hi @curious! That’s exciting for you that tonight could be the night – at the end of the day though it’s meant to be a pleasurable activity so don’t put too much pressure on yourself about what you do or how you do it. If it feels good then awesome! 

I always find missionary is a good starter spot although I have heard that slowly starting with ‘doggystyle’ can make for an easier start to proceedings – if you’re nervous lubricant might be helpful too. 

REMEMBER – ENJOY YOURSELF! That’s why you’re doing it! 

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[ElleBelle]

Of course @curious! It’s up to you what you feel comfortable sharing with us, it’s a safe space.

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[MsBlueStreak]

@curious bleeding can be normal the first time (it happened to me too), and I’m glad it was so pleasurable for you both.

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