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Talk First – how to talk about sex

Whether you’re having sex for the first time or you’re about to sleep with a new partner, talking about sex isn’t always easy. In fact, it can feel pretty awkward.

Talking is the best way to find out what YOU want and what you are both thinking.

Like…

  • The type of sex you want to have. Some people feel comfortable with some types of sex but not others (like oral or anal). Make sure you talk about what works for you
  • What turns you on? You might have an idea from masturbating. Talk about what you like
  • Avoiding STIs and unwanted pregnancy. There are lots of options for birth control but using a condom is the only method of contraception that prevents pregnancy and helps stop the transmission of STIs.  Talk to make sure you are both on the same page about contraception

CONSENT! Every single time. Consent might be different for everyone, but it should be enthusiastic and certain. Umming and ahhing is definitely not consent.

Will sex change your relationship? Most people do think about this but it’s difficult to know how sex might change your feelings for someone. Talk after sex too, so you always know how each other feels.

Talking during sex is good.  Maybe not a full on chat obviously! But it’s important to communicate about what’s working and what’s not.  It’s healthy to say if you like something and if something doesn’t feel right it’s healthy to stop too.  You can read more about improving your sexual communication here.

Play Safe

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