When you’re in the moment, and you really want to have sex it can be so SO hard to step on the brakes. I’ll be completely honest, there has been a time where I’ve just done it anyway. I did have regrets afterwards, I had to go get emergency contraception and then was worried about STIs. It’s really hard to admit that because in theory it’s so easy to be responsible and speak up and stop before it goes further. But in real life there are lots of powerful emotions that come into play!
I have to agree with @ellebelle it is really hard to put the breaks on when in the moment, and I have gone ahead with it when there hasn’t been a condom available. The feeling afterwards is not a great one. But it does happen. Now I do my best to take control of my contraception and to prevent against unwanted pregnancy, I use the mirena. And a regular STI check up always helps
I found that kind of making it all about ‘the mission’ of finding a condom rather than ‘oh well, guess we can’t have sex’ made it easier to pull on the breaks. If we spend enough time trying to find a 7-11 close by, then we’ll either score some condoms or the mood will go away. Most of the time 🙂
That’s a good idea @kindofsquishy, a sort of James Bond sex mission! I think one of the hard parts about stepping on the brakes is having the self-confidence to do it. If this isn’t a regular partner or you’re a bit shy, it takes some guts to speak up. If you’ve been drinking, it can also be very tempting to just say “stuff it” and worry about the consequences later.
I have to agree with you @ellebelle, I think confidence is a big factor in being able to put on the breaks in this situation, especially with someone who is not a regular partner. I wonder if a fear of rejection afterwards also plays a part in people just saying yes?
Fear of rejection is a powerful motivator @mak_trouble891. I think it could play a big part in not speaking up. Especially if you haven’t had sexual contact in a while, or if you really like that person.